| 2007-Oct-5 @ 7:26 AM | |
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Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 779 |
The Secret of Gyre Island ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
| 2007-Oct-6 @ 8:37 AM | |
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Black Rose Evil Bar Wench Member since 2006-Nov-27 Posts: 164 |
This is very intriguing so far. I like the diary format as an opener... and now I need to move on to the next chapter to see how this diary was discovered and translated, I think/hope. The editing and grammar was very good. I don't read much online anymore, but I have enjoyed this story so far and I hope you continue it and that this message leaves you much encouraged. More people should be reading this and giving an opinion. So says me, and I'm the bar wench... I should know. ----- Black Rose "Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins." – Neil Gaiman |
| 2007-Oct-7 @ 7:32 AM | |
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triton Contributor Member since 2006-Dec-8 Posts: 25 |
thank you Black Rose. Corvis and Mandorin helped me alot. Corvis did the editing. I owe them both a lot for all their help. ----- |
| 2007-Oct-8 @ 7:12 AM | |
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Corvis Contributor Member since 2006-Nov-28 Posts: 87 |
Thank you, Triton. You give me too much credit and too little to yourself. ----- |
| 2007-Oct-26 @ 8:11 PM | |
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TheNStorm Inebriated Member since 2006-Dec-23 Posts: 78 |
Nice so far. I like the style of dialogue, and the discriptions. You may wish to at some point consider adding a tiny bit more discription about the beast here, just to further invest your readers. While I'm drawn in to read the next chapter I could be completely addicted.
----- Forever life confuses me |
| 2007-Oct-31 @ 6:24 AM | |
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triton Contributor Member since 2006-Dec-8 Posts: 25 |
I'm glad that you liked the prologue of my story. I hope that you like the next 2 chapters too, but I might need to do some work on them to make them better. ----- |