Summer Roadtrip

The entire thread can be found here
2007-Nov-5 @ 2:57 PM
advancewar
Wasted
Member since 2007-Feb-6
Posts: 204

hey was just reading the storry got to chap 24 in one night. so far one of the best stories iv read im begining to think net dosent know any bad writers smile you sould consider writing another storie like this mabee set in europe or somthing, might be cool. hope to see more of your works and see ya later


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2007-Nov-8 @ 7:04 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

I've TRIED writing other stories like Roadtrip, both sequels as well as stories that are just similar, and have NEVER had much luck at it. I think Roadtrip was a once in a lifetime work and I doubt I'll ever create anything nearly as popular. But I'm very glad you enjoyed the story Advancewar.


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2007-Nov-10 @ 3:23 AM
betabry
Tipsy
Member since 2006-Dec-31
Posts: 2

Just wanted to add my agreement with the previous posters. Excellent writing. I really got into the characters, and the descriptions were great. I was a little disappointed with the ending which just felt too abrupt, but then it could be that I just didn't want the story to end. In a way it does kind of mirror real life in that just when you think things are going great ...

Anyway, great story. Keep em coming and thanks for sharing.

Beta


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2007-Nov-25 @ 10:38 AM
SirVash
Tipsy
Member since 2007-Jul-1
Posts: 1

Me my self have read this story about 2 or 3 times and I just love it.


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2007-Dec-18 @ 3:45 PM
The Lurker
Tipsy
Member since 2006-Dec-8
Posts: 5

I have read hundreds, if not thousands, of stories online in the years I've been surfing the net. Mostly they are just a distraction, something to kill time. Summer Roadtrip is one of those gems that grabbed me, sucked me in and wouldn't let go till I finished it.
I can only thank you for writing it.

TL

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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~ The Lurker ~
2008-Jul-16 @ 4:30 AM
drestnar
Inebriated
Member since 2008-Jun-20
Posts: 13

entertaing. one question? if the rv was burned how did main character show the photo album off. in the first chapters you said he had that and his mom new?

(posted from Epilogue)


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2009-Apr-12 @ 9:16 PM
ripnullnet
Tipsy
Member since 2007-Oct-15
Posts: 6

The story is no longer accessible?

[:::error code redacted:::]

It does not show up in the list of stories either.

Edit: Nevermind.  I will assume it was one of the stories removed per your request back in December 2008.  May I ask why it was removed?


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2009-Apr-13 @ 3:46 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

Summer Roadtrip, Triplet Troubles, Adam Knight and a few other stories I've written, have been removed, at my request, from this site and others. If or when they will be re-posted, has not been determined. My apologies to those interested in reading them.


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2009-May-31 @ 5:28 AM
bdraft
Tipsy
Member since 2009-May-31
Posts: 1

Too bad, I was looking for the story based on a description from Lazeez's blog (SOL's) guy.  I tried to find it there and it wasn't there.  Google brought me here.

Here is what got me interested:

http://storiesonline.org/blog/2007/09/0 … /#comments

Please thinking about having them reposed.



thank you for your time;
bdraft


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2009-Nov-4 @ 12:17 AM
betabry
Tipsy
Member since 2006-Dec-31
Posts: 2

I'm really glad you decided to re-post these, Thank you! Your stories are great.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2009-Nov-4 @ 6:21 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed them.


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2009-Nov-5 @ 7:12 AM
unknown1000u2
Contributor
Member since 2008-Feb-4
Posts: 76

Yay!  Theeeeiiirrrr baaaaack!


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2011-Jan-25 @ 4:33 AM
LAoW
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-1
Posts: 450

As I've already said, this was a fun story! I enjoyed the characters and cringed when they were in dire situations. I also agree it ended too quick. The only negative thing I had was the grammar/spelling, before AND after editing. wink


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I don't have to worry about revenge because Karma is a bigger bitch than I will ever have to be.
2011-Aug-20 @ 2:40 PM
Flamewolf
Inebriated
Member since 2011-Jul-17
Posts: 12

With all the details in your story. I fell like I was there with you. You made it very real. Great job!!! You are one of the best writers I have ever read. Keep up the great work.

(posted from Epilogue)


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2011-Aug-22 @ 1:34 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

Wow!! Thank you. smile Glad you enjoyed the story.


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2016-Jul-27 @ 1:01 AM
Lacy69
Inebriated
Member since 2016-Jun-21
Posts: 38

Yes its late for comments but i agree with the others that this was a awesome story. From chapter 1 to the end i loved every minute of it.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2021-Jun-3 @ 2:14 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

I have a question for anyone who reads this post and has actually taken the time and trouble to read my first ever posted novel, "Summer Roadtrip."

It has been twenty plus years since I wrote and first published "Roadtrip." Between then and now, the story has been edited, by me and others, a number of times. Trust me, it reads 2000% better now than it did when I first published it. Back then, I often switched back and forth between past and present tense,  confused their, there and they're as well as to and too. Characters switched ages, names, a section of the story is missing... I have learned a lot and have become a much better writer since then. I think. (Shut up, Eric!)

I've always felt bad about how bad "Summer Roadtrip" really is. (Another embarrassment, "Roadtrip" should be two words.)

So, since I haven't posted anything else in a while, I was thinking about going through and trying to fix the story. This will mean some real changes to the story. I'm talking changing the names of some characters, fixing ages, adding some, or changing, some important parts of the story, maybe even taking out some parts of the story.

For those who actually enjoyed this story, would you be interested in reading, or re-reading, a new and improved version of the story? Do you think this is a good idea or would I just be wasting my time? If I do it, should I post the new and improved version over the original or should I post it as a new version of the story, "Summer Road Trip 2.0"?

Please give me opinions. If no one is interested in an improved version, I won't waste my time and will just go on my merry way.

Thank you.


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2021-Jun-3 @ 2:25 AM
thehilz
Completely Blotto
Member since 2010-Sep-7
Posts: 368

It’s been a long time since I read it and I really can’t recall many details so I would read it(probably will reread it sometime soon regardless now) but if your unhappy with then current version then you should work on it to get it to a point that you are satisfied with it.


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2021-Jun-3 @ 2:42 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5752

Aw, c'mon, you can't hand me a straight line like that, and not let me respond!!!!  :-P

As to your actual question... let me be blunt and point blank about it:  Would you actually finish editing it?  Would working on this prevent you from finishing something new?

You should always prioritize new material over old.  We could all go back and rework our earlier material to death, but it would mean our readers wouldn't get anything new.  But if this might kick you out of your current writing slump (okay, your "finishing slump"), then it's worthwhile.  Otherwise, I think just acknowledging that you're a better writer now than you were then is preferable... but that's just my opinion.

Eric Storm

PS:  There's no rule saying you can't fix the current title right now.  But just because YOU change the spelling to "Road Trip" doesn't mean half the Internet, which can't spell the word "a" with any reliability, won't still spell it "Roadtrip"...


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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2021-Jun-3 @ 2:52 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

Eric Storm wrote:

Aw, c'mon, you can't hand me a straight line like that, and not let me respond!!!!

If it tortures you, even a little, it's worth it!!! smile tongue smile

Eric Storm wrote:

Would you actually finish editing it?  Would working on this prevent you from finishing something new?

Yes, I think I would finish it and no, since I'm not really writing anything right now, it won't prevent me from finishing anything new.


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2021-Nov-29 @ 12:09 PM
CranstonFrump
Tipsy
Member since 2021-Nov-29
Posts: 1

Jefferson wrote:

For those who actually enjoyed this story, would you be interested in reading, or re-reading, a new and improved version of the story? Do you think this is a good idea or would I just be wasting my time? If I do it, should I post the new and improved version over the original or should I post it as a new version of the story, "Summer Road Trip 2.0"?

Please give me opinions. If no one is interested in an improved version, I won't waste my time and will just go on my merry way.

Thank you.

I've read the story probably about ten times in my life. I gave my virgin ex-girlfriend a copy and it was one of the first things that ever really turned her on.  So, having now had the opportunity to actually speak to the author, I can honestly say I'd love to read a new version of the story.  I'm not quite sure what version I have saved on my computer, as I saved it in March of 2011 which was when I sent it to my ex, but I'd love to read a new and improved version.  I think I first read it in 2007 when I was in college because I remember recommending it to a friend on our way to Atlantic City.

I would hate to see major plotlines/characters cut out as I really feel that every experience helped to shape Jason's character along the way.  That being said, I can offer some suggestions, just based on our read/feelings of the story.

-The explanation for Lori's sterility seemed a bit unbelievable and didn't really fit with the narrative flow. Maybe it's the medical background in me, but it just didn't work IMHO.

-The Guthrie brothers situation was a bit awkward and they would have almost definitely been banned from any clothing optional resort from acting in that way. I realize they were the villains of the story and needed to be there but the whole sequence kind of took me out of the story and reminded me that it was a work of fiction.

-Honestly, I wasn't a fan of Cris' dialogue at first because it seemed a bit unbelievable. That being said, with a bit more life experience, having dated a drug addict whose ex sold her for money at one point, having a good friend who sold herself to pay her bills, and having dated several women who invented these types of stories, the dialogue and dynamic is a lot more organic than I believed it to be on my most recent read.

Honestly, I'd love to see what you plan to do with it and will definitely be happy to read a new version!


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2023-Mar-18 @ 11:29 PM
Dadrepus
Wasted
Member since 2023-Jan-12
Posts: 100

Enjoying the story immensely but the Author needs to reread the story and fix all the spelling and grammatical errors. Many times "to" is used when it should be "too". Well instead of will. Things like this makes me sad that you are using spell check instead of actually knowing the correct words. I don't men to be harsh cause it is done constantly with every author on this site. I guess this is why we have book editors in publications.

But stories are entertaining.

(posted from Chapter 12)


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Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-)
2023-Mar-19 @ 11:30 AM
Jefferson
Contributor
Member since 2006-Dec-3
Posts: 449

I wrote the story 20+ years ago - it was the first story I ever wrote and published - and trust me, the story is a LOT better now than it was then.

To tell the truth, the story, today, is a hot mess that is probably too big of a mess to fix properly. It needs a serious rewrite. There are bigger problems in the story than "too" and "to" and "will" and "well." I will continue to make fixes to the story occasionally when the mood strikes but I wouldn't sit around and wait for it.

Glad you're enjoying the story.


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2023-Mar-19 @ 1:42 PM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5752

Dadrepus wrote:

I don't men to be harsh...

Just a thought, but when you are criticizing someone else's proofreading ability...

...you should probably make sure to do your own.

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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2023-Mar-20 @ 11:52 PM
Dadrepus
Wasted
Member since 2023-Jan-12
Posts: 100

Fine conclusion to a wonderful story of young love/lust! It just needs a little grammatical/ spelling tune-up to be perfect.

(posted from Epilogue)


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Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-)