[Brent] Potions

Self Hypnosis for a Better Life Send Earnings Learn How to Become a Charismatic, Desired, Confident Person!


The entire thread can be found here
2009-Oct-14 @ 9:05 AM
Bridget
God
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 556

[Brent] Potions

Short stories about a man named Smith and the people he sells mind control potions to.


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Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide.
2010-Jun-28 @ 4:31 AM
James Marcus
Contributor
Member since 2010-Jun-15
Posts: 118

Interesting Concept. The dialog was good and the interactions were nice. The only sugestion I can give would be to include more descrition on what is going on around the characters.

(posted from Second Chance)


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2010-Jul-5 @ 12:42 PM
Eternaldreams
Tipsy
Member since 2009-Feb-28
Posts: 3

This set isn't bad.  I see some progression in plot twists through the chapters as well as some growth and an ability to change the story as needed.  Nice work.

(posted from Sexual Harrasment 2)


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“We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom.”
--Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace
2010-Jul-6 @ 4:27 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 4893

Eternaldreams:

I appreciate that you are giving feedback to our prospective authors.  Were you one of the two (yes, only TWO) people who also used the recommendation system for this story?

I'd like to remind everyone that the recommendation system is the "voting mechanism" used to determine whether we ask this author to stay permanently or not...

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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