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2011-Jun-19 @ 7:30 AM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 779 |
Sis, Coming Of Age ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2011-Jun-22 @ 5:29 AM | |
Elessar Completely Blotto Member since 2009-Oct-28 Posts: 397 |
A little more information on the people, and description of things could be better. It seemed rushed to me, but wasn't bad I suppose. ----- |
2012-May-12 @ 4:15 PM | |
Kitsune Inebriated Member since 2012-May-7 Posts: 45 |
Nice little story. Could have become more so the ending disappointed me. Hope to see you write something new. ----- |
2012-May-13 @ 12:03 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
Such as? ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2012-May-13 @ 3:55 AM | |
Kitsune Inebriated Member since 2012-May-7 Posts: 45 |
Thanks for the advice. All I meant was that the ending seemed very rushed he bassically took te story and the ended it all in a few sentences leaving so much left. This story could have kept going to tell about other situations over their summer instead of just wrapping it up. But on the other hand even stopping where you did left it as a good story all I wanted to really say was that if you had written more I would have read it. ----- |
2012-Aug-11 @ 8:24 PM | |
T. Weller Contributor Member since 2009-Aug-19 Posts: 22 |
This story was my first. I kind of rushed through things. I didn't give you enough history on the 2 people, how their relationship was before the event. You don't know what they look like. All opinions and criticism are welcome and appreciated. ----- |