Monthly Donations Target: $700
Received So Far This Month: $149
Received Last Month: $565
Please Note: A $6 minimum donation is required before special access is given as a thank-you gift.
(For more information, please click here.)
2012-Aug-15 @ 3:56 AM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 777 |
The Gods ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2012-Aug-15 @ 9:37 AM | |
lerris Inebriated Member since 2008-Dec-7 Posts: 42 |
They seem to be a little short, and they kinda feel a little like you are trying to rush the story. But overall very interesting start, and I can't wait to see where it goes. ----- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them! |
2012-Aug-15 @ 2:55 PM | |
HJP1993 Inebriated Member since 2008-Jan-6 Posts: 21 |
I agree with lerris, they are quite short and feel rushed. Take a little time, add some more details, such as what they look like. And why did Zeus choose a vassal, let alone some sanitation worker? Just trying to be constructive sorry if it sounds rude. If you haven't already read a few of the other stories on this site and see how much detail has been placed into the stories, I would also suggest that you brush up on the backgrounds of the Gods he will eventually talk to, if you have not already. Again NOT trying to sound rude, and I'm not an author so my opinion probably does not carry much weight, but I think this is a nice story that could work out really well. ----- |
2012-Aug-15 @ 8:39 PM | |
lordanubis Contributor Member since 2007-Sep-13 Posts: 12 |
Thank you, I know the first few chapters are short, the next one is much longer and I go into a lot more detail. I also explain why he was chosen later in the story. The first 2 chapters I really should have just included them in the prologue, not sure why I didn't! lol
----- LordAnubis |
2012-Aug-16 @ 9:40 PM | |
Esuvia Inebriated Member since 2012-Jul-11 Posts: 17 |
While this story is very interesting and rely captivating it is a shame it is so short. If you were to increase the size of you're chapters it would be a more pleasant read and i would be your number one fan. ^^ ----- |
2012-Aug-16 @ 10:16 PM | |
lordanubis Contributor Member since 2007-Sep-13 Posts: 12 |
Thank you. I just finished chapter 3 and posted it. I about to start typing out chapter 4. The chapters are getting longer. I am glad you are enjoying my book. ----- LordAnubis |
2012-Aug-21 @ 11:28 PM | |
lerris Inebriated Member since 2008-Dec-7 Posts: 42 |
It seems to me that if you would wait a bit longer between posting chapters you could condense quite a bit of it together. Like chapter 3 and 4 meeting Becky, buying the home, running errands you are going into more detail and making the individual chapters longer but it seems to me that all of that didn't need to be two chapters it would have flowed better as one. Still it seems very interesting still and would love to see where it goes. ----- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them! |
2012-Oct-14 @ 10:09 PM | |
daishod Inebriated Member since 2012-Mar-28 Posts: 10 |
good story but too short, you need to work on the length, don't be afraid of writing lol, those of us who read won't mind it being longer. ----- |
2012-Oct-14 @ 11:43 PM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5747 |
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your comment, but this seems like a very odd thing to say about a story that's still in progress. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |