Monthly Donations Target: $700
Received So Far This Month: $125
Received Last Month: $738
Please Note: A $6 minimum donation is required before special access is given as a thank-you gift.
(For more information, please click here.)
2012-Nov-24 @ 3:04 PM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 781 |
The Magister's Rise ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2012-Nov-25 @ 4:34 AM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 371 |
I feel that you story has some potential merit to it. However I didn't see a lot in the way of plot becoming apparent in the first chapter. Though this isn't always a bad thing. I will reserve any further positive or negative creatiques for later. Though it does feel like it has some interesting potential. Keep up the good work. ^_^ ----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2012-Nov-25 @ 5:38 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
Thanks for the input, and dun worry, to use an old term, the plot shall thicken ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Nov-26 @ 11:36 PM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 371 |
I can tell that the plot is thickening and thus far it is getting really interesting. If you need any help with proof reading or editing simple stuff feel free to ask me. I might not be the best at editing my own stuff, but I am pretty good at editing other peoples stuff. It's getting good and I am looking forward to all the plot development that is happening. ^_^ ----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2012-Nov-27 @ 4:07 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
Thanks, though I've currently hit a wall at how to tackle a part that should be a recurring thing throughout the rest of the fiction, so any input and help is welcome. ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Nov-27 @ 4:30 AM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 371 |
Do you have skype? ----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2012-Nov-27 @ 4:42 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
I do, but I use a phone for a modem and only get 5 gig every time I recharge, so not a favoured option
----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Nov-27 @ 8:13 AM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 371 |
I only use skype for the texting opitions, not the voice. ----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2012-Nov-27 @ 8:16 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
o.O There's a texting option? Huh, goes to show how long it's been since I last used it... ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Nov-27 @ 9:36 AM | |
Wicked Storm Contributor Member since 2012-Jun-16 Posts: 371 |
Yes, yes there is. Always has been. ----- In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly. |
2012-Nov-28 @ 11:18 PM | |
daishod Inebriated Member since 2012-Mar-28 Posts: 10 |
not bad I like the Lantern reference, hope you continue. ----- |
2012-Nov-29 @ 5:04 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
Thanks, and don't worry, I'm still continuing, just on last week of Tafe so things need to be done. ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Dec-5 @ 9:23 AM | |
lerris Inebriated Member since 2008-Dec-7 Posts: 42 |
Ok two things. First what is TAFE? Second you said in chapter 8 that there were more extreme situations and an overuse of profanity. I'm not gonna lie I still haven't seen an overuse of profanity or extreme situations. I mean they are different but not all together that extreme. Maybe its because I am used to reading more risque or extreme topiced items on this site and in general, but really you have gone nowhere near extreme or profanity laden as i thought from all the warnings. Is that just me and my warped reading habits or what? ----- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them! |
2012-Dec-5 @ 9:34 AM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
Should've explained what Tafe is, sorry. Tafe, or Technical and further education, is an out of school education system that operates in Australia, where I live. There's a wiki page on the subject, so it might prove to hold more info on the subject than what I can provide. It is also where you can do the Cert IV in Library/Information Services, which the main character is undergoing. ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Dec-5 @ 11:36 PM | |
lerris Inebriated Member since 2008-Dec-7 Posts: 42 |
Yeah I'm from the USA so I was sitting here going what the hell is it. I mean I assumed it was some kinda class from the context clues but wasn't sure. And yeah I swear a lot irl so its tame compared to that, but I guess its more the people that know you seeing a different side of you in your writing. For me this hasn't even been that bad on the profanities, and for me since the plot is really interesting and I want to see where you go with this I guess I could care less how they curse. I mean if a lot of cursing is part of one of the characters personality at certain times and that is the way the story flows then that's the way it needs to be. Keep up the good work. ----- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them! |
2012-Dec-8 @ 11:28 AM | |
WarLord Contributor Member since 2006-Nov-18 Posts: 163 |
Greetings
----- "A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?" - George Orwell, Politics and the English Language, 1946 |
2012-Dec-8 @ 11:34 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5758 |
After looking at it, the notice about the profanity and the extreme content should be offset with a heading such as "Author's Note", and clearly delineated, so that it can be skipped easily if a reader such as WarLord wishes to do so. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2012-Dec-8 @ 12:56 PM | |
Kouskul Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-18 Posts: 27 |
Thanks for the feedback, I'll be sure to edit that part out, and as I said, I added it to warn those I know irl who read the story, but on hindsight, it was a bit of a misplay. ----- "Miracles of modern day science. I'm brushing my teeth and stimulating my hair molecules at the same time." -Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson) |
2012-Dec-11 @ 10:43 PM | |
daishod Inebriated Member since 2012-Mar-28 Posts: 10 |
Very nice, I like the world building and realism you've put into the story. Keep 'em coming. ----- |
2012-Dec-15 @ 8:47 AM | |
dreaw Contributor Member since 2011-Nov-27 Posts: 83 |
yay another Aussie author there are to few of us we must stick together, and yes i still write. ----- |