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2015-Oct-13 @ 5:07 AM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 779 |
Backyard Princess ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2016-Mar-19 @ 8:58 PM | |
bistander Contributor Member since 2015-Sep-3 Posts: 241 |
Great story so far. My only constructive criticism is that some of the dialog is a little unnatural, but otherwise I like the plot and find the characters very enjoyable. ----- |
2016-Mar-21 @ 9:50 AM | |
bistander Contributor Member since 2015-Sep-3 Posts: 241 |
Love Sarah's cunning ways and Kenneth's naive nature. ----- |
2016-Mar-21 @ 10:10 AM | |
Daddycums Contributor Member since 2014-Jun-27 Posts: 121 |
Yes, Kenny can be kind of an idiot sometimes. Full confession: of all the characters in all the stories I've ever written, Kenny is the most like me. (Yes, that even includes Tales of a Secret Sex Writer) I was just as clueless when I was his age, although I can't claim this story is autobiographical because I didn't have a Sarah Laurent as a next door neighbor, unfortunately. ----- |
2016-Mar-21 @ 10:54 PM | |
bistander Contributor Member since 2015-Sep-3 Posts: 241 |
Thanks for the confession. I wish I was as clueless and as unashamed of being who I was as Kenneth. At 12 I was already smoking weed and having sex with my older sister's friends. One of them while she watched. Obviously, that explains a lot about where my stories come from.
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2016-Mar-22 @ 1:49 AM | |
bistander Contributor Member since 2015-Sep-3 Posts: 241 |
Two thumbs up. ----- |
2016-Sep-26 @ 8:12 AM | |
coalbuckety Inebriated Member since 2010-Dec-21 Posts: 11 |
I have to say that that is a great story even if it was somewhat out of the teenage sector of stories. I fully enjoyed it and I am 62. Still out of fantasy spectrum I have read many stories and have enjoyed few as much. I do wish it was a longer stories for the chance at more depth however you seemed to pull it off on that accord as well. Keep writing I look forward to new and innovative characters as your nwe stories unfold. ----- |
2016-Sep-30 @ 11:09 AM | |
Daddycums Contributor Member since 2014-Jun-27 Posts: 121 |
Thanks! This was one of my favorite stories to write, partly because I projected so much of myself into Kenny, and partly because it's not really like anything I've ever read, so I was free to be creative with it. I had a lot of fun jumping back and forth between the real world and the imaginary world, especially with Sarah to put a naughty edge on it. ----- |
2016-Nov-15 @ 10:31 PM | |
Sniper Inebriated Member since 2016-Jul-5 Posts: 94 |
Although the ending seems a bit rushed, this is a really good story. I am really looking forward to reading your new stories. ----- |
2017-Oct-6 @ 6:57 AM | |
db1644 Tipsy Member since 2017-Oct-2 Posts: 8 |
Good start ----- David S. |
2017-Oct-6 @ 7:12 AM | |
db1644 Tipsy Member since 2017-Oct-2 Posts: 8 |
Getting better ----- David S. |
2017-Oct-6 @ 8:01 AM | |
db1644 Tipsy Member since 2017-Oct-2 Posts: 8 |
Good story. Keep it gping ----- David S. |
2018-Jan-14 @ 11:59 AM | |
Dezerae Tipsy Member since 2018-Jan-10 Posts: 6 |
This was an awesome story. Thank you. ----- |