A Touch of Green

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The entire thread can be found here
2017-Jul-14 @ 6:13 PM
Admin
God
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 489

A Touch of Green

Ben is gifted a unique influence to affect the women in his life or he encounters. He starts down the path of exploration. His interest is piqued. He clearly has his own ideas of what he wants though.


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2017-Jul-15 @ 6:51 AM
Wicked Storm
Contributor
Member since 2012-Jun-16
Posts: 355

Your creative use of descriptors is very poetic, it really gives a feel for the characters admiration of the individual you start out describing at the onset of your story. You put in a good balance of normal writing and poetic. It’s a nice change to some of what I read very often.

The multiple Character point of views is a nice shift, and it’s a good way to giving us the readers a feel for what the other characters are feeling lol. Sorry for writing the word characters so many times, lol. I have enjoyed what you have written so far, and am looking forward to more of your work. The warmth and gentleness of your eroticism in the story is also very interesting.

(posted from One)


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In the dark your lips taste like sweet nectar, and in the line they tease me endlessly.
2017-Jul-19 @ 7:10 AM
peace2300
Tipsy
Member since 2011-Sep-13
Posts: 9

A very nice and refreshing read, I can't wait to see what you end up doing with the characters.


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2017-Aug-3 @ 11:49 PM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

I'm in something like my third or fourth re-write of the second chapter. The side characters somehow seem to be drawing me away from the intended purpose, so it is not coming out smoothly and may be delayed a bit.


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-Himself
2017-Aug-4 @ 12:52 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 3656

Perhaps your characters are trying to tell you something.  Maybe there's a story you'd rather be telling than the one you're intending.

Eric Storm


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I thought a thought.  But the thought I thought I thought, was not the thought I thought, I thought.  If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought... I wouldn't have thought so much!
2017-Aug-4 @ 4:49 AM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

I think it more likely they're trying to rush the story to conclusion actually. Frustrating, ya know.


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-Himself
2017-Sep-1 @ 8:00 PM
Zombie Wolf
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Nov-14
Posts: 4

yes!! thank you. it is so hard to find good D/s that is not just s/M. keep up the good work.

(posted from Altered State)


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2017-Sep-27 @ 4:09 AM
td219
Tipsy
Member since 2016-May-27
Posts: 1

Very much enjoy the start of this story and where it appears to be headed. Definitely enjoy your writing style. I typically measure the success of a story by whether I would read it without the sex scenes. This is definitely a story that would stand tall using that criteria. I look forward to reading your next installments.


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2017-Oct-3 @ 1:37 AM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

I really hate my spelling errors and pre-post editing flubs. In a big way. It is good to know some of you are enjoying the story. It should only have a few more chapters to completion.


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-Himself
2017-Oct-3 @ 2:07 AM
Tuzzdeny
Tipsy
Member since 2015-May-17
Posts: 8

I'm really enjoying the story.


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2017-Oct-9 @ 8:13 AM
GornBCS
Tipsy
Member since 2015-Jan-4
Posts: 4

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium . My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).


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2017-Oct-9 @ 10:00 AM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

GornBCS wrote:

Also am enjoying the story, so thank you for sharing it with us.

Found what I think is a mixed reference in “Millenium� . My wife and I have been going to popular operas over the last few years. Rossini did The Barber of Seville (very fun opera), then Mozart carried the characters over to The Marriage of Figaro (Le Nozze di Figaro).

it's a flub. i often screw up with music & lyrics & titles & artists & composers & even periods. mistakes R us. sorry.


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-Himself
2017-Oct-9 @ 3:51 PM
GornBCS
Tipsy
Member since 2015-Jan-4
Posts: 4

No trouble! Figaro was the main character in the Barber of Seville, so I can understand the confusion.


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2017-Oct-13 @ 9:58 PM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

write. re-write. write again.


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-Himself
2017-Oct-23 @ 9:46 PM
Tuzzdeny
Tipsy
Member since 2015-May-17
Posts: 8

Seems like the quality keeps going up.  Thanks for the latest installment.


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2017-Oct-24 @ 7:08 PM
Cheezes
Tipsy
Member since 2015-Aug-17
Posts: 1

awesome... looking forward to teh next chapter. that one is gonna be really mindblowing (if not mine then at least some story characters minds)  i think smile

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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2017-Oct-25 @ 5:49 AM
howard
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Dec-1
Posts: 8

Wonderful story, shame you don't want to do a sequel but I guess they often fall flat.

(posted from Denouement)


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2017-Oct-25 @ 6:50 AM
Blackie
Contributor
Member since 2017-Jul-13
Posts: 19

I just don't plan one. I'd have to have a reasoned plot at this point.


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-Himself
2017-Oct-27 @ 10:23 PM
Darkside_6
Tipsy
Member since 2016-Aug-10
Posts: 5

Thank you Blackie.  I really enjoyed the story.  Great balance of "story" and erotica.  Fun premise and concepts.  Well executed.

(posted from the Item Information Page)


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