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2019-May-11 @ 1:44 AM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 779 |
Matchbox ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2019-May-21 @ 11:24 PM | |
Elessar Completely Blotto Member since 2009-Oct-28 Posts: 397 |
While I am aware this is an old story, i have to say, there wasn't much i liked about it. I'll first start with the things i did like. The over all story was good, without spoiling the story for others to much, i will say that. I think it was the fact everything happened to easy that i didn't like. All the events that transpired were way to easy. Had it been slightly longer and a little more of a challenge for the main character, then i think i would have liked it more. I liked the staging of the story, the enviroment as well.
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2019-May-21 @ 11:29 PM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
It's all good Elessar. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2019-May-22 @ 12:27 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
That you knew your actions were inappropriate, and yet you took them anyway, gives me grave concern about your ability to reason, Elessar. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2019-May-22 @ 12:47 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
And, to amplify just what's wrong with your "critique":
Statement 2:
These two statements are diametrically opposed. One of them has to be untrue. Given the nature of the rest of your post, I'm going to assume it was Statement 2.
Not having read the story, this one is more a question: Were the particulars of the house in ANY way important to the events of the story? If not, then they really aren't important, and there's no reason for the author to waste words on it. The reader can envision whatever kind of house they like. Similarly with the main character: some authors will intentionally leave the main character undescribed, to allow the reader to place themselves more easily into that role. Don't know if that was Blackie's intent at the time or not, but it is a legitimate reason for lack of description.
Statement 5:
Statements 4 and 5 are also diametrically opposed. The story cannot "flow nicely" if you felt that the conflict was resolved too easily, since conflict resolution is the PURPOSE of story flow.
That you even paused to think this, let alone type it out, means that you knew you shouldn't have posted this message. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2019-May-22 @ 6:46 AM | |
Blackie Contributor Member since 2017-Jul-13 Posts: 72 |
Still mostly nostalgia for me. Even if someone criticizes it. ----- -Himself "Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." -Randy K. Milholland |
2019-May-23 @ 11:07 PM | |
Elessar Completely Blotto Member since 2009-Oct-28 Posts: 397 |
I didn’t really pause to think about it. As I said there wasn’t MUCH I liked about it, the over all story was good. Which means I liked the over all story, the idea, concept, etc. so they do go together. ----- |
2023-Aug-6 @ 7:04 PM | |
Harddreams Inebriated Member since 2023-Jul-25 Posts: 24 |
i had a Beautiful teacher when i was about 13/14 in the 70s she wore mini skirts and would sometimes put her feet up on the desk , it was a boys school and she was about 25 i would say. there was rumer that she put out to one of the 6th form boys- her name was Miss Lowe and I still think of her to this day.. ----- |
2023-Aug-6 @ 11:12 PM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
Question: "6th form"? I'm assuming this is a reference to the particular year of school you were in, but... "form"? How is your school system organized? ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |