When I started reading this story, it sucked me right in!  I read it during any free time I had (real life is a pain sometimes <grin>).

I'm really enjoying the story and can't wait to see what happens next.
Thanks,
Dave

BTW, I noticed 2 errors repeated during the story.  If you search for "form" you'll find a bunch of them that should be "from"; also, you switch the word "to" w/ "too" (meaning also) sometimes.   I tend to auto-correct in my head as I read, but I did see these a few times.  :-)
Thanks

(posted from Chapter 31)

In case this needs clarifying:

to = toward, same number of o's.  (I am going to stop at one 'o'.)
two = 1 + 1 (The word "two" has a 'double'-u in it.)
too = excessively (The word "too" has too many 'o's in it.)
too = also (The word "too" has an 'o'... and also another 'o'.)

Eric Storm

daves.not.here

Thank you for pointing this out how ever when I checked for the the word Form in chapter 31 I only found it once in the whole document and it was used correctly in the sentence
"Smiling I said I thought I needed a couple more times to form a good opinion which got me a playful slap on the arm from both of them.

Form was used instead of using more words to convey the idea of coming up with with an opinion.

I try to proof read my stories for any obvious errors but as a lowly snake eater I am not an English major so I apologize for any grammatical errors.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Sorry I wasn't clearer.  I meant in the entire story, not just chapter 31.  I searched the text file and found the error in 1, 13, 20, & 28.  I guess the repetition just made it stand out to me.

Snake_eater1960 wrote:

daves.not.here
Thank you for pointing this out how ever when I checked for the the word Form in chapter 31 I only found it once in the whole document and it was used correctly in the sentence
(posted from the Item Information Page)

I am about to read chapter 32 and noticed your preface about not being a professional writer... I love your writing and appreciate the time you have spent putting together this story and then giving your work to us to enjoy for free. I have not found any works on this site that are perfect, but what difference does that make?  None, these are stories put together by talented people, some may be professional, some not, but it is their time and imagination that makes this site what it is, a place to find an escape from the riggers of life and just sit back and enjoy the imaginations of some wonderful authors.  Typos and grammar issues be damned, I love reading stories written from the heart.  Please keep doing what you do and just remember the majority of your readers love your work for the story and characters, not the minor errors, as long as we can follow and enjoy the story, nothing else matters.

(posted from Chapter 32)

I love this story looking forward to the next chapter.

Thank You Zmaybe and Glockman22 it is comments like these that encourage me to keep writing.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Yes you are not a proffessional writer ... you don't get money for writing.
I learnd some time: Hiring a proffesional is no garantee for good work or results.

In my opinion you are better than many proffesional writers.
I think one reason for their "better" spelling is: A proffesional can hire somone to proofread (and even that is no garantee for flawless spelling)

Please continue this great story.

I love this story more and more with every chapter I feel like I'm on the island with them.

Chapter 35 was fun.  Am looking forward to the further adventure of Dan and Sue...and friends...

(posted from the Item Information Page)

I have to say I'm very impressed with this story so far. Already being 38 chapters in, it feels like you have just scratched the surface of where this story could lead. I do hope the words continue to flow, and the chapters continue to excite and entertain. Thank you for what you've gifted us with to this point.

(posted from Chapter 38 (Bad news, and possible solutions))

Just a quick note to say THANK YOU to all of my readers and a double Thank You for the many nice comments you have given me.  I will continue this story however I may start a book two since this is so much longer than I ever envisioned it would be.  Stay tuned for the continued story of Dan, Sue, and their friends.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Thank you for writing this wonderful tale.  I like the direction you are heading and whether it is a continuation of this story or a conclusion and a new story as they move to a different venue is good for me either way.
I do see your point of Dan wanting to put in his 20, as I am retired military as well, but I feel he would feel guilty holding that position when he doesn't need the retirement pay.  There are only so many actual slots in the military for each rank, and him holding a Master Chief slot would prevent someone else having the chance for that. Plus, if he were to separate, he could commit full time to his vision of a world class security force that he and Jeff envisioned for the future.  Just a thought.

(posted from Chapter 40 (Grand opening and return to Dam Neck))

@Zmaybe,  First let me say Thank you for your continued support of this story.
I understand what you are saying about letting someone else have a shot at a higher rank however staying in to fulfill his 20 year commitment goes more to his character than gaining a pension.  At least that was the direction I was trying to convey with all of this.
I am leaning heavily to starting a book two so please stay tuned for more adventures from Dan, Sue and friends.
Thank you once again for taking the time to read this tale.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

This is a great story so far!  I'm really enjoying reading it.  I will probably go back and re-read it from the beginning again.  I started reading after chapter 31 was posted, so now it's been a while since I read the earlier parts.

Going forward, I wouldn't mind if you summarised the day-to-day minutiae, except where it's part of the plot, of course.

I hope you continue this story.
Thanks,
Dave

(posted from Chapter 40 (Grand opening and return to Dam Neck))

Enjoyed the story, especially the action scenes. The repetitive daily minute can be reduced though. Looking forward to book two.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

This is a complete story, not just sex and it is very well though out (chapter 1).

(posted from Chapter 1 (Tragedy and extasy) )

You are a pretty great story teller and the little euphemisms crack me up like: "like a starving man at a Las Vegas buffet''. Very entertaining. Now if could just get the grammar right, it would just be so much better.

(posted from Chapter 36 (Leaving Paradise))

Dadrepus wrote:

You are a pretty great story teller and the little euphemisms crack me up like: "like a starving man at a Las Vegas buffet''. Very entertaining.

This is a simile, not a euphemism.

Now if could just get the grammar right, it would just be so much better.

Did you honestly expect me to NOT mock you for complaining about someone else's grammar, while screwing up your own?

:-P

Eric Storm

Restarting after not reading this for a while. Gotta admit, with the cocktail student not being able to control his center of gravity I am surprised that he made it that far. He would have been better off in a different art, though finding one that didn't champion humility or inaction would have been difficult. I got a chuckle out of the collarbone break, since even with toughened bones(which a modern Japanese Jiu Jitsu practitioner would have no reason to have) the impact force to break the collarbone is much higher than that of the scaphoid in her hand.

(posted from Chapter 13 (Company picnic & introductions))

Pardon me, I had the wrong bone in my previous comment. It was the Metacarpal, not the scaphoid. Though metacarpal fractures don't take much force either, rather they take less.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Still though, I am enjoying the story overall, can't wait to see what waits for me in the rest of this story and into the sequel.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Great beginning to a wonderful, long, story that continues in a 2nd book, and for many chapters.

(posted from Chapter 2 (New life, new wife))

Still loving this... yes, there are typos, long run-on sentences, confusing descriptions, and missing words, but it's a good, interesting read. I'm enjoying it very much.

(posted from Chapter 27 (Final wedding prep))

Very well done! Tasteful but exciting. Keep it cumming.

(posted from Chapter 28 (Bachelor party & a Wedding))