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2022-Feb-25 @ 9:26 PM | |
Bridget Barmaid Member since 2006-Sep-9 Posts: 779 |
Court Ordered ----- Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide. SITE CONTENT POLICY: The administrator of this site will not reject, remove, or censor any story posted to this site based on the story's content. No story shall be removed except for purely technical reasons (which will be worked out with the author so that the story can be reposted as quickly as possible), or due to a direct order from the site's hosting provider, a law-enforcement entity, or the story's owner. |
2022-Feb-26 @ 12:22 AM | |
Pleidius Contributor Member since 2021-Jun-10 Posts: 55 |
An interesting, if slightly bizarre story. ----- If you're prepared to face the consequences, go ahead . . . |
2022-Feb-26 @ 4:49 AM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
A little bit different, I would agree, Bizarre, maybe. Things get more interesting in future chapters. This was something I wrote several years ago but never posted. It needs a lot of editing but the basic story has been mostly written. Maybe in the end I'll have them in group therapy.
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2022-Mar-3 @ 6:24 AM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
Sorry about the chapter mix up. Chapter 1 is actually chapters 1 and 2 ----- |
2022-Aug-1 @ 11:35 AM | |
Dammit Tipsy Member since 2022-Jun-19 Posts: 1 |
This was a pretty good story but the author needs to do some editing there are some confusing typos and the names get crossed up a couple of times I hope the author is not offended as that is not my intent I enjoyed the story and and hope you continue the story cause I really don't see the story ending just yet I can see Mrs. Atwater jumping Jason's bones and Amanda and Carrie getting together and having a threesom with Matt anyway just keep writing ----- |
2022-Aug-1 @ 4:27 PM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
Not sure that someone who doesn't know what punctuation is should be criticizing someone else's writing mechanics... ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2022-Aug-4 @ 8:49 PM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
I spotted the name mix up after I posted chapter 13. My typing skills are mediocre at best. I do use a spell checker but it doesn't catch everything. I do appreciate the comment though and happy someone likes the story. Chapter 14 is close to being posted.
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2022-Aug-10 @ 4:55 PM | |
Mikenc67 Contributor Member since 2022-May-26 Posts: 54 |
Seems like the story is going in a different direction. Maybe make Matt & his girls a separate story, and get back to the ORIGINAL main characters.
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2022-Aug-13 @ 8:34 PM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
There is a good argument for separate stories. This story is evolving in a few new directions I didn't anticipate at the beginning, even though I had written the first 6 or 7 chapters years ago. The first story I posted, which I have to admit was not very good, it was suggested I needed more characters. So I added more characters. The problem that I see now is, these characters have a story of their own to tell. I'm having the same problem with Julie's New Life. As for terminating Jason's sentence, I've made it quite clear already that the judge wants blood. Short of her no longer being a judge and a new judge takes over I can't see that happening. I also see your new to the site, I hope you're enjoying the stories here. ----- |
2022-Aug-14 @ 7:26 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
Not having read the story, just giving "real-world" kind of thoughts: Judges do sometimes not get re-elected to serve, so if the case/hearing(s) cross that election boundary... Also, the lawyer (is there a lawyer?) could request a different judge.. Or, the "normal" judge could be on vacation, and so a different judge would have to handle things... Again, I don't know the situation in the story, so some or all of this might not apply. I'm just trying to give you options, if you want them. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2022-Aug-14 @ 8:04 PM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
Those thoughts did cross my mind. It's still a little too soon in the the story yet. Thanks for the suggestions. ----- |
2023-Jan-21 @ 8:33 PM | |
CreepyUnclePete Contributor Member since 2023-Jan-13 Posts: 11 |
This story is quite creative and exciting. If there were a rating system here, I'd give it four stars out of five. One thing to be aware of is that the website doesn't display some foreign language characters correctly, such as the 'e' with an accent mark over it, which is usually in the word 'fiancee'. With some editing this story could go from good to great. Please continue! ----- |
2023-Jan-22 @ 2:21 AM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
Thank you for your kind words. I'm constantly trying to improve my writing but struggle. Something I noticed about myself in the last few months is when I'm reading a book, I now look at the grammar, sentence structure and style of writing, looking for ways to improve. That's something I never did before. Thanks for pointing out hyphens in foreign words. I will try and figure out how to make changes. As to a rating system, there sort of is one. On the left side of the webpage, there is a place to give your opinion. Goes from Must Read/ See! to Don't waste your time. It appears no one but the author has access to the rating. It's under contributor tools/ Statistics, if you didn't already know. I'm not sure why Eric has it that way but I'm sure he has his reasons. Lately I've been doing more writing than reading but I'll take out time to read a few of your stories. Thanks again for time. ----- |
2023-Jan-22 @ 3:22 AM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
Why The Pub does not have a numerical rating system ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2023-Jan-22 @ 4:17 AM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
It's been years since I read that and had forgotten. It does make sense. Thanks for the refresher course.
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2023-Jan-22 @ 7:55 AM | |
Limnophile Contributor Member since 2022-Jul-4 Posts: 20 |
Thanks for pointing out the rating option. Much appreciated! ----- |
2023-Jun-24 @ 12:28 AM | |
Dadrepus Wasted Member since 2023-Jan-12 Posts: 100 |
Funny! ----- Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-) |
2023-Jul-6 @ 1:06 AM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
Thank you for your post and appreciate the feedback. I'm trying to catch my grammatical errors but still miss too many. I'm just starting on the next chapter as the other three stories I'm writing, have been taking some time to write. I try rotate them. I also like longer stories as they let the writer develop the characters. I appreciate hearing that you're enjoying the story. Thanks again. ----- |
2023-Jul-23 @ 10:35 PM | |
Dadrepus Wasted Member since 2023-Jan-12 Posts: 100 |
Some corrections needed :Chapter 21/
----- Always willing to help. May not be good at it ;-) |
2023-Jul-23 @ 11:31 PM | |
Eric Storm Pub Owner Member since 2006-Sep-13 Posts: 5752 |
If you are going to give the author proofreading assistance, please do so in an email, rather than in the public forum. Listed here, it just provides clutter that doesn't add anything to the discussion of the story. ----- Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM. ---- Facebook page |
2023-Jul-28 @ 9:42 PM | |
pepsiguy1 Contributor Member since 2012-Sep-5 Posts: 57 |
To Dadrepus:
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