The Pub Discussion Board

waaum wrote:

Great story mate! I love the increase in suspense that came with this latest chapter. And though I do love all the characters, I'm especially interested in the antagonist's backstory. It would be interesting to learn what makes Evan's father so angry all the time, especially towards his wife.

(posted from Chapter 19: Willpower)

Good point, one Eric made when he was helping me with editing and such. I guess I've neglected that because the person John is based on was a mystery to me and what I've learned over my years on this fucked up spinning ball is that some people are born into their narcissistic behavior, and some people are just mean.

However, if you think about John and Candy in this story, you can come to some conclusions. It may become more clear, but a pattern has already emerged in his progression. I may have to add in more of what I have taken out or softened to protect the faint hearted in order to make it obvious.

I think you'll get it anyway.

Thanks for reading and especially for commenting.

It has been almost a month since I posted the last chapter, so let me warn you in advance, I'm behind. The month sucked mentally and physically for me. I've got a bunch of new stuff written for chapter 21, but it's still in rough form. It all required me to be on my A game, but I've pretty much been averaging a C game at best, so I'll need to keep working on it. I hope you'll be patient with me. I'm still physically feeling like shit, but I'm working more than I had been.
Bistander

Finally got caught-up on this story....have to say you really nail emotions and confrontations...Love reading your stuff...Take your time and make it great...as always.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

coachc32 wrote:

I'm a huge fan!!! I love your story.  Any idea of when 21 will be on here? Keep up the good work

(posted from the Item Information Page)

It's posted. I'll get 22 out much faster. Things are winding down or winding up. Keep the comments coming. They reminded me that I'm supposed to be writing, not watching TV.

Update: "Dale's race was over, he one..." Obviously, Dale won the race, not one. Dictations will do that and when I listen to the computer reading it, one sounds like won. Last defense, my eyes reading what they want to see. That's why I need help proofreading.

Last edited by bistander (2017-09-28 12:23:00)

Thanks farok for your comments and praise. Helps a lot with motivation. All of your questions were good as was your insight, but I'll say no more, except there will be something revealed about Cindy in the next chapter. :-)

waaum wrote:

The only bit of concern I had was that it felt like the Evan-Candy scenes should have stuck (closer) together. The plot-point was so momentous for the long-term story line, that it felt like the other POV's were interrupting the pace, and should have come slightly later.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Interesting thought. Anyone else have any thoughts on that?

As I have said before, I don't know what I'm doing and hope to be learning as I go along. I guess I was trying to pass time and put space between her leaving his room so they could both think. Then I wanted a gap between the first time they do it and the second. I also wanted to show that other things were going on. Transition and passing time are always a point of concern for me. Any comments on this would be appreciated.

Sniper, I'm still laughing. Slip and fall in the shower. Now I finally know how to get them together. Although, that wildcat, Rebecca might tie Evan up and force Deana to sit on it.

Have no fear, chapter 78 will never happen. Might not make it to thirty. I'm sure anyone who knows the progression of a story knows that Evan and Deana would signal the end quickly approaching. The end is quickly approaching, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve and many things to wrap up. I'm pretty sure I'll forget to close some of the rabbit trails I started, but I'll try, and I'll try to do it quickly.

I started to read this story on a different site but when it came down to the chapters I found that there had been several missing.  So I looked up the author and was brought to this site.  Where I made an account just to read the whole story. Even though I’m just on chapter 18 I hope that this story will continue.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

How old are the twins at this point and how old is Gloria?

(posted from Chapter 9: A Force to be Reckoned With)

db1644 wrote:

How old are the twins at this point and how old is Gloria?

(posted from Chapter 9: A Force to be Reckoned With)

It's in the story, somewhere. Over the many revisions of this story, Gloria's age has changed so much it's hard for me to remember, but Evan's has been consistent.

Sniper wrote:

Dude, there are so many loose ends that you could write another 300 chapters. And I don't even think that we have met all necessary characters yet. Or there is even more to John than what I currently think him capable of. We will see. Don't let me pull any kind of spoiler out of you.

Did you get my e-mail? It was a while ago.

bistander wrote:

Did you get my e-mail? It was a while ago.

I just checked my inbox. Somehow I missed your e-mail. Sorry about that. That account is not my main account, but one that I use for use for registering to sites and such things that might lead to spam. I will try to check that account more frequently.

I would definitely be OK with what you wrote. Obviously sex is an important part of erotic novels, but the plot is even more important to me. As far as I am concerned, a plot without sex works, but sex without a plot does not.