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#26 2022-04-04 01:51:18

chevyzr2
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-03-26
Posts: 13

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Keep up the great work looking forward to the next chapter

(posted from Chapter 14)

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#27 2022-04-07 23:32:25

Maverick7508
Inebriated
Registered: 2012-02-04
Posts: 55

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Good chapter overall. Gotta admit, the Jiu Jitsu bits with Kayla took me back a bit. My dad used to go to a dojo back in the 80s for some training when he was a firefighter, and the sensei's wife and daughter were bother black belts with competition wins to their names. However, neither women sparred with male students due to risk of injury. The difference in bone density, weight strength, stamina, etc. made a fight with someone less that 3 belts below them nearly impossible to win, and a wrongly placed strike could from them could damage their own limbs. But, in the realm of fantasy I guess physics can be tweaked a bit.

(posted from Chapter 13)

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#28 2022-04-08 13:26:00

chevyzr2
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-03-26
Posts: 13

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Another great chapter

(posted from Chapter 15)

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#29 2022-04-10 18:38:01

Snake_eater1960
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-02-08
Posts: 18

Re: Saving Sister Sue

chevyzr2 wrote:

Another great chapter

(posted from Chapter 15)

Thank you for your continued encouragement.

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#30 2022-04-21 19:58:55

chevyzr2
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-03-26
Posts: 13

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Another great chapter. I’ll be on the look out for the next

(posted from Chapter 17)

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#31 2022-04-24 23:14:58

Glockman22
Inebriated
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2016-04-28
Posts: 19

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Great chapter looking forward to the next one.

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#32 2022-04-29 03:46:24

Glockman22
Inebriated
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2016-04-28
Posts: 19

Re: Saving Sister Sue

this story gets better with every chapter I can't wait for the next one.

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#33 2022-04-29 12:48:37

sermona
Inebriated
Registered: 2019-02-18
Posts: 34

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Great story. and taking your time describing the "normal" day to day stuff is good for the story.

one minor thing is the similarty of the chapter beginings. it has charm but for me its sometimes not optimal: when comming back after some weeks and have forgotten wich the last chapter. but that total on me. when reading the story chapter by chapter i like it. it gives some sort off structure.
so keep up the good work and have me reloade the page frequently so i don't need to search the last read chapter.

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#34 2022-05-03 00:36:22

Zmaybe
Inebriated
From: Phoenix AZ
Registered: 2021-06-27
Posts: 51

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Thank you, nice work.

(posted from Chapter 20)

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#35 2022-05-05 22:53:34

Zmaybe
Inebriated
From: Phoenix AZ
Registered: 2021-06-27
Posts: 51

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Snake_eater1960 wrote:

When I started this story I was thinking it might be 2 or maybe 3 chapters and here I am trying to edit chapter 10.  I'm happy that people seem to be enjoying it and it seems to have taken on a life of it's own.  I still have no idea how I will end this all nor when it will end.  In the meantime I hope you all continue to enjoy my imagination.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

I was going back over the posts and this one caught my eye.  Especially after your last chapter, this is a story worth of many hundreds of chapters...so many directions to branch off to. I doubt it will keep going for more then a couple hundred chapters, but it could spawn spin offs in many directions with the great characters and storylines you have already brought up.  Thank you again for your time feeding my small brain.

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#36 2022-05-06 14:24:21

Snake_eater1960
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-02-08
Posts: 18

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Zmaybe wrote:

[quote  Thank you again for your time feeding my small brain.

Thank you for your continued support.  I appreciate your comments as they help to keep me motivated to continue telling this tale.

Sincerely,
Snake Eater

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#37 2022-05-07 07:00:27

sermona
Inebriated
Registered: 2019-02-18
Posts: 34

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I liked the the chapter. A bit more action than the last. It keeps it intresting.

While reading I tripped over a sentence.
...with Jeff carrying a tray with beers for he and I and ...
I think in school I got told that in this sentence posessive pronouns should be used:
...with Jeff carrying a tray with beers for himself and me and ...
I know here are many native speakers. Maybe somone can explain it to me.

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#38 2022-05-07 07:44:19

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Saving Sister Sue

sermona wrote:

I liked the the chapter. A bit more action than the last. It keeps it intresting.

While reading I tripped over a sentence.
...with Jeff carrying a tray with beers for he and I and ...
I think in school I got told that in this sentence posessive pronouns should be used:
...with Jeff carrying a tray with beers for himself and me and ...
I know here are many native speakers. Maybe somone can explain it to me.

"himself" and "me" are not possessive pronouns.  They are object pronouns (as opposed to subject pronouns, which is what "he" and "I" are.)  The possessive pronoun equivalents to "he" and "I" would be "his" and "my", but those would not be appropriate to use in this spot.

But you're right, it should be either "him and me" or "himself and me".  (The him/himself choice is, as far as I'm aware, mainly personal style.  Even us native speakers don't know ALL the rules...)

Of course, the author could have skipped all this by simply saying "us"...  3dbig_smile

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
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#39 2022-05-07 22:24:10

Snake_eater1960
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-02-08
Posts: 18

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I’m sorry for any actual English errors because I hated that subject in school and then there is the fact that I am much more at home with a rifle or pistol in my hands than I am with a keyboard. 
If I had to look up exactly how to put everything into type I would probably still be typing chapter one. 

I hope my poor grammar doesn’t detract from people enjoying my imagination too much.

Sincerely,
Snake Eater

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#40 2022-05-09 10:14:52

sermona
Inebriated
Registered: 2019-02-18
Posts: 34

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Thanks Eric

And i think those are minor. I was just curious.
And sitting in the Glasshouse... I would never puplish something without some proofreaders, and they could ask for pain compensation.
My spelling and grammer are far worse than in any story i read here.

So just let your imagination free.

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#41 2022-05-18 20:50:58

chevyzr2
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-03-26
Posts: 13

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I really enjoy this story. Can’t wait to find out how it all turns out.

(posted from Chapter 24)

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#42 2022-05-25 09:47:15

kixthelion
Tipsy
Registered: 2012-10-19
Posts: 1

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I'm loving the story so far
Brilliant work

(posted from Chapter 12)

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#43 2022-06-15 21:29:10

bleme
Inebriated
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 20

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I really like the technique of repeating the last paragraph of the previous chapter. I usually re-read the end of the previous chapter just to make sure I read it, remind myself what happened, and get in the right headspace.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#44 2022-06-25 15:25:57

daves.not.here
Inebriated
From: South Florida
Registered: 2007-06-15
Posts: 36

Re: Saving Sister Sue

When I started reading this story, it sucked me right in!  I read it during any free time I had (real life is a pain sometimes <grin>).

I'm really enjoying the story and can't wait to see what happens next.
Thanks,
Dave

BTW, I noticed 2 errors repeated during the story.  If you search for "form" you'll find a bunch of them that should be "from"; also, you switch the word "to" w/ "too" (meaning also) sometimes.   I tend to auto-correct in my head as I read, but I did see these a few times.  :-)
Thanks

(posted from Chapter 31)

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#45 2022-06-25 15:37:22

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Saving Sister Sue

In case this needs clarifying:

to = toward, same number of o's.  (I am going to stop at one 'o'.)
two = 1 + 1 (The word "two" has a 'double'-u in it.)
too = excessively (The word "too" has too many 'o's in it.)
too = also (The word "too" has an 'o'... and also another 'o'.)

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
----
Facebook page

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#46 2022-06-26 01:04:52

Snake_eater1960
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-02-08
Posts: 18

Re: Saving Sister Sue

daves.not.here

Thank you for pointing this out how ever when I checked for the the word Form in chapter 31 I only found it once in the whole document and it was used correctly in the sentence
"Smiling I said I thought I needed a couple more times to form a good opinion which got me a playful slap on the arm from both of them.

Form was used instead of using more words to convey the idea of coming up with with an opinion.

I try to proof read my stories for any obvious errors but as a lowly snake eater I am not an English major so I apologize for any grammatical errors.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#47 2022-06-27 06:26:55

daves.not.here
Inebriated
From: South Florida
Registered: 2007-06-15
Posts: 36

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Sorry I wasn't clearer.  I meant in the entire story, not just chapter 31.  I searched the text file and found the error in 1, 13, 20, & 28.  I guess the repetition just made it stand out to me.

Snake_eater1960 wrote:

daves.not.here
Thank you for pointing this out how ever when I checked for the the word Form in chapter 31 I only found it once in the whole document and it was used correctly in the sentence
(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#48 2022-06-28 19:20:37

Zmaybe
Inebriated
From: Phoenix AZ
Registered: 2021-06-27
Posts: 51

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I am about to read chapter 32 and noticed your preface about not being a professional writer... I love your writing and appreciate the time you have spent putting together this story and then giving your work to us to enjoy for free. I have not found any works on this site that are perfect, but what difference does that make?  None, these are stories put together by talented people, some may be professional, some not, but it is their time and imagination that makes this site what it is, a place to find an escape from the riggers of life and just sit back and enjoy the imaginations of some wonderful authors.  Typos and grammar issues be damned, I love reading stories written from the heart.  Please keep doing what you do and just remember the majority of your readers love your work for the story and characters, not the minor errors, as long as we can follow and enjoy the story, nothing else matters.

(posted from Chapter 32)

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#49 2022-06-28 23:19:46

Glockman22
Inebriated
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: 2016-04-28
Posts: 19

Re: Saving Sister Sue

I love this story looking forward to the next chapter.

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#50 2022-06-30 17:13:07

Snake_eater1960
Inebriated
Registered: 2022-02-08
Posts: 18

Re: Saving Sister Sue

Thank You Zmaybe and Glockman22 it is comments like these that encourage me to keep writing.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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