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#51 2009-07-01 19:10:55

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

This question is answered in the FAQ.  No, nothing that is in PRM will stay there forever.  It is, after all, "pre-release" material.  At some point, it will be released.

The minimum donation for PRM access is $6 for 6 months... or 1 month of access per dollar donated.  (But $6 is the minimum.)

Eric


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#52 2009-07-01 23:42:29

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Sweet, thats not bad at all I thought it would be something more like 60 a month. lol I suppose I,ll be getting access ot the PRM material soon

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#53 2009-09-17 21:18:10

Code01
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-08-01
Posts: 9

Re: Justice Seven

Justice Seven,  Whats happened to this story it was great with loads of different caractors and showing from all views but now its just showing from jims view and its all about him I don't even like him hes a prick,bully,manipulative,scum bag,that's dislike to his male friends and what hes done to Luke is unforgivable, hope he a and Lori pay for it. Luke should be able to beat Jim easily with hes mind ability to read and manipulate thoughts as he can. easily hope he gets good payback on him hes a jerk and don't make him just fall in line please Luke i mean to his demanding ex and hes not controlling her at all i don't think shes being unfair in many ways and cruel and selfish.  Also why you making Jim main character it was Luke and i really liked him? and whats about Paul hes great and ope more from him and that he gets revenge to on Jim the jack ass.

Sorry to everyone if maid grammar or spelling mistakes hear.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#54 2009-09-17 21:18:15

Code01
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-08-01
Posts: 9

Re: Justice Seven

Please delete  this post as mistakenly put it on hear.

Last edited by Code01 (2009-09-17 21:49:15)

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#55 2009-09-17 22:47:16

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

No, I'm not about to delete your post.  In fact, I'm going to quote it, so that you can't go back and remove the text from your post.

Code01 wrote:

Justice Seven,  Whats happened to this story it was great with loads of different caractors and showing from all views but now its just showing from jims view and its all about him I don't even like him hes a prick,bully,manipulative,scum bag,that's dislike to his male friends and what hes done to Luke is unforgivable, hope he a and Lori pay for it. Luke should be able to beat Jim easily with hes mind ability to read and manipulate thoughts as he can. easily hope he gets good payback on him hes a jerk and don't make him just fall in line please Luke i mean to his demanding ex and hes not controlling her at all i don't think shes being unfair in many ways and cruel and selfish.  Also why you making Jim main character it was Luke and i really liked him? and whats about Paul hes great and ope more from him and that he gets revenge to on Jim the jack ass.

Sorry to everyone if maid grammar or spelling mistakes hear.

Clearly, you prefer characters who are self-centered.  Your characterization of Jim as "a prick" or "a bully" or "manipulative" shows that you have zero comprehension of actual motivations behind the characters.

Paul is a complete asshole  He is a borderline sociopath.  You liked him.
Luke is self-centered.  He insists on sleeping with other women, but is unwilling to allow his partner similar latitude.  He continues to try to control his ex, even when she has made it entirely clear that she's not going to be controlled.  You like him. 

Jim is trying to be helpful.  You call him manipulative, but when has he manipulated anyone?  All he is trying to do is help people and be supportive.  You hate him.

I think this pretty clearly states what your personal attitude is.  I'll judge your comments accordingly.

Eric

Oh, and "if" you made spelling or grammar mistakes?  Your "English" (and I use the term loosely) is almost indecipherable.


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#56 2009-09-18 08:51:25

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Damn Eric I havent even read justice yet, but it seems like you REALLY dont like code01 then again It does seem hes being intentionally obtuse or perhaps thats just my views of seeing the few posts hes made

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#57 2009-09-18 17:37:25

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

I don't like receiving flames.  Code01's post was completely non-constructive.  The first rule of critiquing a story is: if you don't like the story: SHUT UP.  If you do not like the story, there is zero chance that your comments are going to be constructive or helpful.  Only those people who like the story, but feel there is a small problem here or there, are ever going to be of use to an author.

Telling me that you don't like my main character is a flame.  Erroneously attributing motivations to that character that don't even exist in the story just shows that you're reading with a strong personal bias against his character type, and that you don't like the story I'm telling, so you should NOT ever give criticism in that instance.  You should simply stop reading it and move on.

So, you're right.  I don't like Code01, because he's a flamer.  I don't tolerate flamers.

Eric


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#58 2009-09-19 00:00:07

Bandolar
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-09-14
Posts: 1

Re: Justice Seven

Hey Eric,

I've been reading your stories for a while now, and thoroughly enjoyed everything that I’ve read so far.  Just wanted to let you know that, and I patiently await every story that you write.

Thanks for all the plots, twists and characters that you have written.  I look forward to reading more well written stories.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#59 2009-09-21 04:53:17

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Flamers anger me quite a bit..Why tell someone how much there story sucks? if there's a problem..you could always explain carefully and gently..though ive never found anything bad with your stories..that could just be because I love your stories, but..why would I love them if they were not good?it makes no sense to me.

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#60 2009-09-21 21:09:22

Code01
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-08-01
Posts: 9

Re: Justice Seven

I never said i didn't like them to start with,  Only said the character didn't like and true all Jim cares about is self now he was not like that to begin with and if you don't like people saying don't like something why ask for peoples opinions man you never change from when 1st met you on on story's online 'sigh'. was not trying to flame you just pointing things didn't agree with that's all and see you don't like not being dis-agreed with do you Eric.  And i did not get personal with you and spelling or grammar so no knead to do same back to me and its not that bad and remember are country's spell things differently as am guessing you are in USA. Not meaning to be intentionally  abusive to the story but thought this was place to put thought about it offer then just well done that's great so on if not and all want positive review let me know.

And I don't think Luke is self centered at all he said at beginning whats he thought of it and shes the one thats controlling domineering and very selfish in my and friends of mine who share my opinion who have read this story all agree with me and there are a lot of them.

same for Jim character too you get idea what I think of him.

And don't think Paul was at this time way you said he was seems to me more like a young lad with a new power and go to his head a bit that's all, and he's a bit pissed at the team for never being on hes side basically who can blame him i don't for most part.

Last edited by Code01 (2009-09-21 23:40:14)

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#61 2009-09-22 00:02:38

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Code01:  You're a moron.  Now shut up.

Your grammar is "not that bad"?  You write sentences I cannot even translate into intelligible English.  Yes, OUR (not are) countries DO spell things differently, however, your spelling doesn't approach EITHER country's version.

No, you didn't challenge my spelling or grammar, because I make sure that when I'm trying to communicate with someone, it is as error-free as I can reasonably make it.  I took the time to learn the spelling and grammar of my home language, so that I could say what I needed to say without someone having to translate for me. 

Your spelling and grammar are worse than Neitherspace's used to be.  THAT is how bad you are.

As to your message that you have "many friends" who agree with you:  Of course you do, because the only people who are your friends are the people who agree with your point of view.  You have yet to give a concrete example of how Jim has been manipulative, or in any way "a prick" as you keep calling him.

I think what you don't like is that I tend to favor the nice guy over the asshole.  Luke is an asshole.  He didn't say "no" to Lori's request: he never gave her an answer.  In the meantime, he went and cheated on her with his mother.  Paul is a sociopath.  His power did not create his attitude, it merely gave him the ability to act on it.  Since he is MY character, you will simply have to accept that for what it is:  The definition of his character.  Don't like it?  TOUGH SHIT.  Yes, the team refuses to back him, because most of the team is not so self-centered as to put themselves ahead of all other considerations, as he regularly does.

Oh, and Lori is being domineering?  She gave him a choice:  A) Open relationship,  B) COMMITTED relationship,  C) she walks.  What she said was, either we sleep with only each other, or we sleep with whoever we like.  He refused BOTH of those options.  She would have to have been a complete doormat to have accepted a relationship under those terms.  Basically "you and your friends" are suggesting that she allow him to sleep with whoever he wants to, whenever he wants to, but she is only allowed to sleep with people he approves of.  Sorry, but Lori's behavior is not domineering; it's self-respect.

Ultimately, it is clear that you have no actual understanding of normal human behavior.  I'm sure that you are of the belief that no one is nice to others simply because that is the way they choose to act.  I'm sure you believe that Jim has an ulterior motive, and is trying to "take over" and run the show.  It would probably never occur to you that Jim is being PUT in charge, not that he is TAKING charge.  I'm sure you have no possible comprehension that people choose to help Jim because they think Jim is worth helping.  Or perhaps you're just envious that he has more than one girlfriend?

If you were truly "not attempting to flame", then you would have read the critiquing guidelines posted in not one, but TWO places on this website, and you would have followed them.  But no, you felt it more useful to simply blurt out whatever was in your empty head, so that you could go back to... whatever pointless thing it is that you do.  The fact is that I welcome negative feedback - PROPERLY OFFERED.  Yours did not even approach that standard.

You point out that I had the misfortune of encountering you when I was at SOL.  Apparently, you haven't learned any manners in the interim.  I'm quite certain you didn't show any then, given your comments.

Any further flames from you, and you will be banned from this website.  I don't need or want your kind of person here.

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#62 2009-09-24 23:13:50

Code01
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-08-01
Posts: 9

Re: Justice Seven

That's not how I see it at all or loads of offer people I no that's read your story and you don't want or need my kind of person hear bet you don't after all I don't agree with you so that's so surprise.

I was same then you wasn't when replied to me there thoe you manner have got worse.

And ban me for not agreeing with you would say All need to no about you really and prove my point nicely.

She gave him a choice:  A) Open relationship,  B) COMMITTED relationship,  C) she walks.  What she said was, either we sleep with only each other, or we sleep with whoever we like.  He refused BOTH of those options.  you said.  And she didn't give a choice at all recently she demanded.

Not in your story he said ok if I stop then you do as well basically and she refused to stop seeing offer girls shes with and he did say that was ok as long as was not ofer lads.

Never going to agree with you about my spelling.  as had it checked and it was fine and you have maid mistakes in places.

And for your info my friends don't always agree with me but they all did on this and offers spoken to offers net about it to.

And Paul is  as you put it,  he is a sociopath.  His power did not create his attitude, it merely gave him the ability to act on it. I do not agree from what you your self wrote even if you did mean it this way was not way I belive it is.

Luke is not an ass if you  wont to ruin his character in the future and make him that way its up to you but he wasn't from where I read it. He was a nice caring lad and a great friend who could be trusted and counted on.

Unlike Jim who just thinks of him self and how to get laid.  And well its blatant what I think of him.  An d you who wrote him this way and changed him from being a pretty decant lad to what he is now.

And you mean apart from betraying a friend and sleeping with his girl the first chance he gets when they was having problems, and bullying everyone he can with his power hmm.  and manipulative only have to read it to see haw he is like this. and for many offer reasons hes not really a likable character anymore unless you just read for the sex in story and ignore what he is or don't care I suppose.

And don't see how any-think I have said about this is a flame its a disagreement only.

And was disappointing a bit because of how you started it was brilliant multi-characters all with there own individual personality and powers as well as own story's  and not a single faverate character all had equal charm for different reasons and neither was more important really then the offer as all had roles of there own and I thought wow hes really brodand hes arisen and made it really intriguing with lots going on and no one main character but then just started with the one main person above the rest and thought it was a shame that's all was still good thoe.


And I and many offer see Lori  as domineering and demand and well and self gratifying which i did not think of before as its her way or high way sort of thing. 

I have never none you to welcome negative feed feedback on any site you have posted on you usually ifer ban people or move to a new site.

Jim worth helping not really although he seems to need a lot of help on many ways and why would him being with more then one girl bother??

Last edited by Code01 (2009-09-27 22:05:59)

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#63 2009-09-25 00:31:46

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Last chance, Code01.  Flame me one more time, and you will be banned.  IF you don't think there are spelling errors in your posts, then you have just demonstrated your complete idiocy.

Drop it, NOW.  You have violated the rules of this website - which are clearly posted - with every single one of these posts.

Yes, I DO welcome negative, but CONSTRUCTIVE, criticism.  But yes, when people like you flame me, I do react strongly, quickly, and with verbal violence.  You have not given constructive criticism.  You have given flames, flames, and more flames.  Now, I'm sick of listening to your drivel - when I can interpret what you've typed out in the first place - and as you are in MY home, you WILL respect that fact and SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

Eric Storm
OWNER, FOUNDER, DESIGNER, MAINTAINER, The Mystic Wolf Pub


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#64 2009-09-25 02:12:26

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Now, for a quick lesson, specially written for the DUMBER members of this site:

1. If the only point of your message is to say, "I don't like what you're doing"...  You might be a flamer.
2. If your message does not contain ANY positive feedback....  You might be a flamer.
3. If you assume that you know the author's characters or storyline better than he or she does... You might be a flamer.
4. If you believe that the author should change their entire story just to suit you... You might be a flamer.
AND...
5. If the author has informed you that they no longer want your input, and you post even one more time... You ARE a flamer!

Get it?  Got it?  Good.

Eric

For the record:  Site policy is zero tolerance on flaming and flamers.  You will be confronted upon your first post and every post thereafter where abusive, flaming behavior is encountered.  If this behavior continues, you will be banned from the site.  Visiting here is a privilege, not a right.  Flamers are not welcome in my home.  If you feel the need to provide negative feedback to an author, follow the Critiquing Guideline, found on the main site menu under both Site Information and Communicate.


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#65 2009-09-27 07:48:41

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Eric? can you Erase his posts..I read them and I feel kinda..like trash. Hes..I know its flameing him to say so..but hes a fucking idiot.. and I am going to break the rule this once because I know you give out warnings..I am ANGRY at this guy..pluss I think some might enjoy my "CRITIQUING of his stuff"

Hopefully Enjoy and dont get to mad..

Nadez




to Mr Idiot Dude..

Your Spelling Errors or Grammar Errors. YOU SAID




That's not how (RIGHT FUCKING Here for one Dude. You put an O next to the I)OI see it at all or loads of (Second one Offer means you are offering to do something for someone..A couple defintions are   The act of offering: an offer of assistance.
2. Something, such as a suggestion, proposal, bid, or recommendation, that is offered)
offer people I (NO is the opposite of YES the correct thing to say is KNOW)no that's read your story and you don't want or need (My kind of person? something more like..The type of person I am my friends are would be incorrect but better then yours)my kind of person hear bet you don't after all I don't agree with you (That's so surprise don't you mean..That's no surprise? or not that that's Surprising? WRONG word use AGAIN!) so that's so surprise.

(I was same? Hello Idiot GRAMMAR error I was Same Makes no sense. I WAS the same makes better sense AND SPELLING error THOE? the word you were probably looking for was though the sentence should look more like this I was the same then, You didn't reply to me then, it seems as if your manners have gotten worse Fucking idiot!)I was same then you wasn't when replied to me there thoe you manner have got worse.

And ban me for not agreeing with you would (say? do you mean SEE? all need to KNOW about you, you prove my point nicely) say All need to no about you really and prove my point nicely.

She gave him a choice:  A) Open relationship,  B) COMMITTED relationship,  C) she walks.  What she said was, either we sleep with only each other, or we sleep with whoever we like.  He refused BOTH of those options.  you said. (She didn't give a choice at all recently I cant even understand what you were trying to say enough to make a fucking correction!) And she didn't give a choice at all recently she demanded.

(Okay..there's THOUSANDS of things wrong with this one.. Here's how it SHOULD look to the best of my understanding your idiocy In your story he said okay if I stop you do too, she then refused to stop seeing OTHER girls she was with, he then said it was okay as long as it was not OTHER lads)Not in your story he said ok if I stop then you do as well basically and she refused to stop seeing offer girls shes with and he did say that was ok as long as was not ofer lads.

(I am would be proper here)Never going to agree with you about my spelling. (as had it checked? as I had it proof read and I was told it was fine..MAID you idiot? Maid is someone who does cleaning and chores and stuff! AND EVERYONE HAS MADE MISTAKES! ERIC HAS THE FEWEST IVE SEEN IN LIKE FOREVER!!!) as had it checked and it was fine and you have maid mistakes in places.

(the OFFERS? others! others spoken to others to net about it? how would the others who spoke to others know about the story you fool!)And for your info my friends don't always agree with me but they all did on this and offers spoken to offers net about it to.

And Paul is  as you put it,  he is a sociopath.  His power did not create his attitude, it merely gave him the ability to act on it.(I haven't read the story so I cant comment on this..but Eric usually writes his charcters in a way that can be understood by base lifeforms obviously you aren't oh and you spelled BELIEVE wrong..yet more proof that not JUST your grammar is wrong) I do not agree from what you your self wrote even if you did mean it this way was not way I belive it is.

(wont too? WANT too and AGAIN Eric knows how to write his characters his evil characters are not LIKEABLE the very fact that you like him shows me without even reading the story yet that your idiocy knows NO fucking bounds..perhaps he started out nice some of Eric's Characters do before they go bad but you can tell there bad!)Luke is not an ass if you  wont to ruin his character in the future and make him that way its up to you but he wasn't from where I read it. He was a nice caring lad and a great friend who could be trusted and counted on.

(first..D and the an a are separate, your insulting Jim because of his life style(the as quoted guy who wants to get laid) not who he is OR the reasons he is doing what he does.. perhaps he was a decent LAD before but my guess is hes a decent lad afterword too, I still liked Ron Chaffey after he got his powers he was just a hella lot more stressed out)Unlike Jim who just thinks of him self and how to get laid.  And well its blatant what I think of him.  An d you who wrote him this way and changed him from being a pretty decant lad to what he is now.

(when THEY was? idiot! IDIOT! IDIOT! when THEY were..only HAW? he is like this???. OTHER NOT OFFER YET AGAIN! )And you mean apart from betraying a friend and sleeping with his girl the first chance he gets when they was having problems, and bullying everyone he can with his power hmm.  and manipulative only have to read it to see haw he is like this. and for many offer reasons hes not really a likable character anymore unless you just read for the sex in story and ignore what he is or don't care I suppose.

(your to use your own words of what I think your are blatantly flaming)And don't see how any-think I have said about this is a flame its a disagreement only.

(and was disappointing a bit? and IT was disappointing a bitFaverate? FAVORITE, OTHER NOT OFFER!, BRODAND??Broadened you Insufferable FOOL! hes brodand hes arisen? HE Has BROADENED his HORIZON its still good thoe? THOUGH idiot!..and thats called INTRODUCING THE FUCKING CHARACTERS! almost everyone does this so that you dont get confused and so that you know some of what the characters are like!)  And was disappointing a bit because of how you started it was brilliant multi-characters all with there own individual personality and powers as well as own story's  and not a single faverate character all had equal charm for different reasons and neither was more important really then the offer as all had roles of there own and I thought wow hes really brodand hes arisen and made it really intriguing with lots going on and no one main character but then just started with the one main person above the rest and thought it was a shame that's all was still good thoe.


(god im so sick of saying this..OTHER! OTHER OTHER OTHER DAMMIT!)And I and many offer see Lori  as domineering and demand and well and self gratifying which i did not think of before as its her way or high way sort of thing.

(I have never none? KNOWN ..to welcome Negative feed feeback? JUST feedback...and usually Ifer? SPELLING ERROR AGAIN! IFER...whats that supposed to be idiot?!)I have never none you to welcome negative feed feedback on any site you have posted on you usually ifer ban people or move to a new site.

critiquing guidelines posted in not one, but TWO places on this website, (READ THE RULES FOR ONE!) Wear I could no find it??

(WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SENTENCE SUPPOSED TO SAY???!!!)Jim worth helping not really although he seems to need a lot of help on many ways and why would him being with more then one girl bother??

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#66 2009-09-27 09:56:22

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

*snicker*  Although I usually prefer to flame the flamer myself, I'll let this one pass, because it gave me a chuckle.

Although... Nadez... there were some grammar errors in your post...  3dbig_smile

Eric

PS:  Despite how inflammatory and nasty they are, I choose to leave such comments intact.  If I remove them, but not the responses, then people only see one side being negative.


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#67 2009-09-28 08:33:29

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

3dbig_smile course there are grammar Errors in my post! I have horrid Grammar but I still get by...that's why I have editors when I write 3dtongue

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#68 2009-09-28 18:59:32

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Hey, Nadez,  Code01 reported you for flaming him!  *snickers*

And here is what I'm going to do about that:  *Hands Nadez a cookie*.

Now, let me explain why:

1. Code01 is not an author/artist on this site, and so his protection is already lessened.
2. Nadez DID offer advice on how to correct Code01's mistakes, thus making his criticism constructive, despite his personal negativity toward the poster.
and...
3. Code01, you're a flamer.  You have no protection on this website from anyone.  In fact, I encourage people to berate and belittle flamers here.  It discourages the attitude and the behavior.

The fact that you like to dish it out, but cannot take it, amuses me greatly.

Eric Storm

PS:  Don't bother responding to this.  I'm only likely to ban you for it.


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#69 2009-10-08 07:06:31

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

*laughs his head off* im so pleased..I never suspected Id get a response out of him, and that is the best one I could have hoped for

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#70 2009-10-09 23:21:49

Wolfwood3177
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-10-09
Posts: 3

Re: Justice Seven

Eric~
How do I give “constructive criticism”? I want to tell you that I really like Luke, and even if he is being a bit of an ass, I don’t want you to make him the bad guy! PLEASE do not have him partner up with Paul! I really am standing in Lukes corner, and it hurts me to see you doing this to him. I am not saying that he is completely blameless, but he has a right to be mad at your “golden boy” Joe. Maybe it is an unwritten rule, but he should, as a friend of Luke’s, kept strictly hands off till Luke gave the all clear. Maybe that is old fashioned, and you say that Lori should have a say with who she sleeps with, and sure, she does, but he didn’t need to say yes no matter HOW good her jiggling tits looked. To me, that was just plain wrong.
Luke, to me, is just not good at communicating his feelings. He his shy, and has been on the wrong end of attention for a long time. To have females suddenly wanting to be with him… I might go a little nuts too! But in the end, it would be more important to have one girl that loved me, and not an open relationship. Yes, he didn’t come up with an answer, but at the same time she was too busy letting her own body and desires lead her around to wait and hear about one. From the fact that she messed with Zoe, and then didn’t want to tell Luke right away, to then hiding the fact that she was also with Claire (for six weeks!). Yes, Luke was doing a little of the same thing, one with Zoe, and two, with his mother,(both under his own roof, and both people that he loves) but she got pissed off at him first, which was so hypocritical of her! I can’t stand it when a girl has a to try and control and lead a boy around by the nose.
An other thing, Would Luke be able to help Joes mom with her past trauma?  Re-write, or modify a memory? And couldn’t he use his power to read what could make a girl hot, and leave her to believe that it was the best lover she had ever had? Paul could also morph his dick so that it never goes soft, so he could be a forever monster.  And if I was Luke, I might make myself forget about past things, ya know? Not to mention make Lori forget some things! And you did write that as long as they were happy, he did not see anything wrong with mind controlling someone!
Wolfie

(posted from the Item Information Page)

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#71 2009-10-10 01:06:25

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

First, there is a critiquing guide on this site, which can be found in two separate places on the main menu.  Following that guide will give constructive criticism.

Second:  Please don't copy/paste from word processors.  Those of us using something other than Internet Explorer get stuck with a bunch of crappy codes in your post.

Third:  The character you seem not to like much is named Jim, not Joe.  It REALLY hurts your commentary when you get such a basic fact wrong.  If you needed to go back and look, do so.  No author is going to take you all that seriously if they don't feel you've read the story well enough to even get the characters' names right.

Fourth:  Okay, yes, there is some "bro code" (something I don't believe in, at all) that says you don't mess with a friend's former girlfriend.  HOWEVER, when the world's strongest teenage girl says she wants sex, it's going to be very hard to tell her no.  Plus, he was already aroused.  Further, unlike Luke, Lori was not cheating at this point (as Luke did with his mother).  So, okay, this was a violation of manners... but it was also an unplanned event on both of their parts.  You're expecting them, in the heat of passion, to stop and say, "Oh, this is going to upset Luke, let's not do it..."  That's insane.

Fifth:  Lori asked Luke for an open relationship well before she was sleeping with anyone other than Luke and Zoe.  He refused to give her an answer - even "no" - for a long time.  But let's play this out as if he had said "no" when she had asked.  Chances are, he would still have slept with his mother, due to the nature of that encounter.  That would have meant he was cheating on Lori... and would almost certainly have continued to sleep with his mother while hiding that fact from his girlfriend (given that he had no intention of telling her about it, even when he did).  You call what she was doing "leading him around by the nose," but that is not, in fact, what she was doing.  She explained what she wanted.  She asked him to say yes or no.  He refused to answer.  She did NOT go seeking encounters.  Yes, she found one other partner... BUT SO DID LUKE.  The fact is that they were both behaving the same way.  And that way was an "open relationship".  The problem is that Luke was trying to hide the fact of his desire to sleep with more than one person of the opposite sex.  You call her hypocritical because she got mad at him, but what she got mad at was the fact that, while she had just told him about her other relationship, he was clearly NOT going to tell her about his, had he not made that slip of the tongue.  In other words, she was mad because he was taking, without giving back.  You say, "But in the end, it would be more important to have one girl that loved me, and not an open relationship."  And this is exactly the problem:  The GIRL does not want a monogamous relationship.  Now, you can call that immoral or wrong or whatever term you want to put on it, but does she not have the right to decide that for herself, and then leave a boyfriend who doesn't want that kind of lifestyle?  The problem I'm seeing here is that you want to empower the boy over the girl, where I am allowing them both to make their own choices.  Those choices, because they are opposed, mean that the relationship needed to end, which it did.

Sixth:  Luke will not team up with Paul.  Luke doesn't like Paul, either.  Nor will his character be "done away with."  I have a plan for Luke.  He will not become a "bad guy".  He's just not going to be part of the team much longer.

Seventh:  Luke's power is unlikely to be strong enough to unseat something so deeply buried as decades-old trauma.  Yes, he could certainly tamper with the memories of his partners to make himself seem the greatest lover of all time.  However, if he were to attempt to tamper with Lori, he would have to affect the entire team... and several others.  Because if Jim or Lori ever figured out that he had done it, they would kill him.  Literally.  Most people are not going to like having their memory fucked with.  Someone with super powers is likely to take serious action when it happens to them.  PLUS he couldn't be sure - absolutely sure - that his memory wipe would hold.  He hasn't done a lot of that, you know, and to do something that drastic without being sure it would work would be foolish.  It would make far more sense for him to move on to another female, and... "fix his mistakes" on the second try.  And... I can't imagine someone who would want to go fucking around in their own head.  Sure, people often say, "I wish I could forget that ever happened..." or "I wish I could forget about her..."  But to really forget something that important would also change your personality, because who you are is the sum of your history.  Remove part of that history, and you alter who you are.  Other memories he has would suddenly not make sense.  He would look back and say, "Why the hell did I act like that?"  And he would have no way to know!  No, I think that Luke, of all people, would not want to mess around in his own head.

So, in short, no, Luke is not going to be a "bad guy".  He's just a screwed-up teenager. 

Eric Storm


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#72 2009-10-13 08:55:01

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Is that person Code as a different name?

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#73 2009-10-13 17:30:11

Eric Storm
Pub Owner
From: New Port Richey, FL
Registered: 2006-09-12
Posts: 5516
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Did you see me blasting them into oblivion?  No, it's not Code01...  and I think you should apologize to the guy for the insult.

Eric


Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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#74 2009-10-14 07:59:07

Nadez
Wasted
From: Utah
Registered: 2009-06-06
Posts: 201
Website

Re: Justice Seven

Sorry Dude, I Was tired and Your argument just seemed like Codes but written much better, Forgive me I didnt mean to insult you

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#75 2010-02-01 10:02:44

Mikal
Tipsy
Registered: 2009-08-23
Posts: 2

Re: Justice Seven

twitches

You're evil sometimes Net Wolf / Eric Storm. I found CAMP long, long ago back in the day and read through as much as I could find, loving every chapter. Then it just ended and I couldn't find any more, leaving me stuck at a cliffhanger for years! Finally, I find the rest of it, and come to find that you've written a continuation. Then I find your entire (please say no...) library of literature and then find another cliffhanger one! You sir, are evil. Pure evil.

I love/hate it!

Last edited by Mikal (2010-02-01 10:04:04)

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