Sis, Coming Of Age
by T. Weller
Item Information Page
Table of Contents

Sis, Coming Of Age

(Short Story - Completed)



Rated R
Originally Posted on: 2011-06-18
Last Updated on: 2011-06-18
Genre(s): Drama , Romance
Code(s) Used: first, inc
Pairings Used: mf
Total Downloads: 1667
Units in Item: 1
Median Download Count: 1667
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Brother and sister share something wonderful.

The entire thread can be found here
2011-Jun-19 @ 7:30 AM
Bridget
Barmaid
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 875

Sis, Coming Of Age

Brother and sister share something wonderful.


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2011-Jun-22 @ 5:29 AM
Elessar
Completely Blotto
Member since 2009-Oct-28
Posts: 414

A little more information on the people, and description of things could be better. It seemed rushed to me, but wasn't bad I suppose.

(posted from Chapter 1)


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2012-May-12 @ 4:15 PM
Kitsune
Inebriated
Member since 2012-May-7
Posts: 45

Nice little story. Could have become more so the ending disappointed me. Hope to see you write something new.


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2012-May-13 @ 12:03 AM
Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5958

Kitsune wrote:

Could have become more...

Such as?

You do realize that a comment this vague is completely unhelpful to an author?

Did you consider that the reason most authors end a story is because they consider it to be finished, which means they either 1) had no ideas for continuing it, or 2) felt that a continuation would lessen the story they'd written?

If you're going to make a comment such as "Could have become more...", you'd damned well better be backing it up with concrete examples of exactly HOW it could have become more.  Otherwise, it reads as, "How dare you end a story I was reading before I was ready to stop reading it!"

On the one hand, your comment is praise to the author.  This is a good thing.  On the other hand, your praise was overshadowed by non-constructive negative commentary.  This is a very bad thing.

Eric Storm


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Please Remember:  The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone."  The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended.  If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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2012-May-13 @ 3:55 AM
Kitsune
Inebriated
Member since 2012-May-7
Posts: 45

Thanks for the advice. All I meant was that the ending seemed very rushed he bassically took te story and the ended it all in a few sentences leaving so much left. This story could have kept going to tell about other situations over their summer instead of just wrapping it up. But on the other hand even stopping where you did left it as a good story all I wanted to really say was that if you had written more I would have read it.


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2012-Aug-11 @ 8:24 PM
T. Weller
Contributor
Member since 2009-Aug-19
Posts: 22

This story was my first. I kind of rushed through things. I didn't give you enough history on the 2 people, how their relationship was before the event. You don't know what they look like. All opinions and criticism are welcome and appreciated.


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Sis, Coming Of Age
by T. Weller
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Sis, Coming Of Age
by T. Weller
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