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The Old Bus
A small group of catholic teenagers take a trip with a storm approaching. There is one scene without a description of what might be considered rape. Another questionable. I welcome comments including criticism as long as it is constructive. Please enjoy.
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First, let me say this is a good story. where it needs work is in the areas of sentence structure and punctuation. I would have liked to see more character development with the students. Keep at it. I'm looking forward to your future submissions
(posted from Chapter 1)
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Grammar was never my strongest subject but I' m trying to get batter at it. I do like stories that have a lot of character development. Not just quick sex for sex sake. This story I intended it to be fairly short. I have another story I have worked on that is quite a bit longer with a lot of development. It still needs a lot of work before posting. Thanks again, you're input is appreciated.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
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