Cum Rag

Dan's nine year-old sister Bethany follows him to a secret midnight teenage orgy. She isn't interested in sex, but does enjoy watching it and getting messy.

Regarding your main page statement about people being ready at different ages, I strongly agree. Some of my relatives were ready at 15, but I was a socially inept nerd and totally unprepared at 19 - nervous laugh - . On the other hand, fantasies about much lower numbers can be extremely arousing, if they stay in the world of fantasies.

I enjoyed chapter 1 of the story "Cum Rag" quite a bit. I hope you will publish more? I like the idea of teens having a secret orgy in an abandoned house. The younger girl watching and participating a little was naughty and very exciting.

Please understand that I mean the following in a friendly and helpful way. The only negative I noticed was that "coochie" and "willie" were used many, many times. I think using synonyms part of the time could make the story much better.

Overall, pretty good!

Thank you and please keep writing,
Pete

That's a good point. In my defense, nine year-olds don't have a huge vocabulary but maybe I could have extended it to two or three alternatives.

Believable and likable characters and (given that they are in a sex filled situation) realistic and well described. Dan had better realize how lucky he is to have a sister like Bethany. Drenched in sex, but even the peripheral characters are relatable and enjoyable. I’m really interested to see if there is more.

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