E.V.E.

A tech-obsessed Walt is exiled to his grandparents' farm. After an encounter injects him with (EVE), he gains enhanced abilities.  Coming of age, Slow

As I told Vash Prior to his publishing this, This is a unique story at lest from my perspective.  While the narrative style threw me, it is an interesting and fresh way to spin a story.

Not sure I am going to flack this as a must read... as its not going to be everyone's cup of tea.. but it's a "Should Checkout"

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Well... Not sure what the author was trying to get across here.  A lot of jargon and gibberish.  Was there a story buried in here?

(posted from Chapter 01 : The Soft One)

Zmaybe wrote:

Well... Not sure what the author was trying to get across here.  A lot of jargon and gibberish.  Was there a story buried in here?

(posted from Chapter 01 : The Soft One)

I kind of agree with you on that. But I see it as the author's attempt to portray a very specific kind of autism or other mental condition. 
I agree it's a bit much. But I see where he is going with it. And it's an interesting approach.

It's definably not going to be everyone's cup of tea. But Vash can weave himself a story, so give him time to get going .

Zmaybe wrote:

Well... Not sure what the author was trying to get across here.  A lot of jargon and gibberish.  Was there a story buried in here?

(posted from Chapter 01 : The Soft One)

Wow.  Been here four years, still doesn't know how to write constructive criticism.  Perhaps work on your own skills before criticizing theirs?

Simple rule:  If you didn't like the story, SHUT UP AND MOVE ALONG.  Whatever you have to say to the author will almost certainly not help them.  You whine to them about the "gibberish", but you offer no suggestions at all about how to get across the same point in a better way.  And, if you can't articulate a "better way" for them to get across the point, then why would you assume that they can think of one, either?

Criticism without suggestions for improvement is nothing more than complaining.  The complaint department is on the roof.

Eric Storm

PS:  I know that SOMEONE will see this post and accuse me of not allowing negative feedback on the site.  Constructive criticism is welcomed.  But in order to be constructive, you must offer a solution to the problem you're pointing out.  Otherwise, you've not given the author anywhere to go.  Assume they've already gone to the best place that they can figure out on their own.  If you think they needed to go somewhere else, you're going to have to be specific about that.

Hi Vash
Do not know what Zmaybe is smoking. Love the story so far, good character building and have clear mindset of troubled teenager who basically thinks in computer language.

Cannot wait for next installment.

Regards

(posted from the Item Information Page)

As I've posted elsewhere, I think this has some lovely, evocative turns of phrase in the opening chapter - and the pseudo-cyber thought process of Walt is a nice device (if it's not over-used.)

I'm certainly willing to give it some time and space to develop.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Wow! This is different. It sure has my attention, though.

(posted from Chapter 01 : The Soft One)

Sorry, must of read it on a bad day.  Eric is correct, if I am going to be critical, it should be constructive.  I was rude and I am truly sorry.  As for constructive, try to not use so much technical terms that a non-technical person doesn't have to keep stopping and looking up.  The story line got lost for me due to not understanding the jargon.  Again I sincerely apologize for my rudeness.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Really enjoying this so far, even without any sex ;-)

(posted from Chapter 03 : Embedded)

Hey Vash. It's been a month and I am starting to get withdrawal symptoms. Please sir, may I have some more?

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Honeyugger wrote:

Hey Vash. It's been a month and I am starting to get withdrawal symptoms. Please sir, may I have some more?

(posted from the Item Information Page)

There’s no set posting schedule for this story. I’m taking my time and trying not to rush it like I did with Life’s Regrets. I don’t have as much writing time these days, so don’t expect three chapters a week. My goal is to release at least one chapter a month.

I am liking the story so far. The transformation of Walt is fascinating, especially given the time table. It will be interesting to see how he changes as the story progresses, as well as how Eve will change.

(posted from the Item Information Page)