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#1 2023-06-29 07:57:14
Employee Discount
Employee Discount
In this near future sci-fi story, a corrections officer takes advantage of a young and pretty female inmate.
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#2 2024-08-25 21:42:47
- Sam Spayed
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2024-08-25
- Posts: 29
Re: Employee Discount
I like this. It goes into a little too much detail about the worth of money but then settles down into an engaging story.
(posted from Chapter 1)
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#3 2024-08-25 22:00:24
- Sam Spayed
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2024-08-25
- Posts: 29
Re: Employee Discount
Another delightful chapter.
The sex scenes weren't long or detailed enough for me and the necessary change in vocabulary was off-putting but that is due to the setting.
I would like to have a better idea of the ages of the girls. Again the setting means that any woman over around ten is an adult but I think it would be permissible to give some idea even if it's only physical description.
This isn't a period in history that I search out but I look forward to reading more.
(posted from Chapter 2)
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#4 2025-07-03 13:40:38
- abaddon.pale
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2018-09-11
- Posts: 87
Re: Employee Discount
I enjoyed this story. I really enjoy historical fiction, and you know your roman stuff.
Sadly the first chapter are two read mostly like exposition. And while later chapters we do see more prose. It would be great if there was more "Realtime Dialog". I lot of the sex scenes have the potential to be really hot, but tend to be short brief descriptions of what happened.
All in all, nice work. You have a great concept here. I do think you could have gone further with it. What you have here in 5 chapters could be expanded to 20 or so and make for a really gripping story.
(posted from Chapter 5)
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#5 2025-07-07 18:13:20
- CreepyUnclePete
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2023-01-12
- Posts: 27
Re: Employee Discount
I could improve all of my stories if I had the time to rework and re-edit them, but unfortunately I don't. I'd much rather have 30 stories that are entertaining and "Mostly okay" than two which are perfect.
Thanks for reading, and for sharing your thoughts.
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#6 2025-08-03 02:27:56
- sadimlonely
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2024-08-11
- Posts: 11
Re: Employee Discount
I am surprised to find myself liking this.
I thought the first chapter dragged a bit, but once Cenius started interacting with the gods, it actually picked up pace nicely.
(posted after chapter six)
(posted from the Item Information Page)
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#7 2025-08-10 07:27:12
- Limnophile
- Inebriated
- Registered: 2022-07-04
- Posts: 22
Re: Employee Discount
I also posted this on Storiesonline, with over 20 pictures and older characters.
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https://storiesonline.net/n/47324/war-booty
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