Get your favorite beverage, sit back, and join in the discussion
You are not logged in.
Just a Taste is all it Takes
Andrew was a typical High School Student, he was not one of the nerdy types who A's came easily too, or one of the Jocks who sports came easily to, He was not a pretty boy who girls came easily too, He just was. One day during chemistry experiment his bimbo of a lab partner screws up and he is covered in chemicals. When he wakes up in the hospital, he has a very strange taste in his mouth. When he is released with a clean bill of health and his family comes to pick him up a simple kiss leads to his discovery of the powers contained in his saliva.
Offline
Deleted
Last edited by Steen3 (2016-06-15 11:05:46)
Offline
like it so far....can't wait to read more
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Nice opening, sets stage
Looking forward to seeing more
Thanx for sharing
Offline
An interesting twist on the usual "gained powers" premise.
You do, however, need some help in the realm of anatomy. Also, you never bothered to mention why Erin was attempting to hit Lacey in the first place. As this was a major point of the first chapter, it should have been at least momentarily talked about.
Still, depending on where you go from here, there is hope for an interesting story.
Eric Storm
(posted from In the Begining)
Offline
Thank you for your feedback. What do I need help with in the realm of anatomy?
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
I added a line to the chase Sceen that should indicate why Erin was chasing Lacey from the bathroom, but mainly the whole thing was just teenage morning antics. Erin upset Lacey, Lacey bugged Erin, Erin as older sister felt she needed to put her in her place, Andrew got hurt.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Since you asked:
1. Any male will lose an erection after being knocked unconscious. (We're not talking about sleep here, we're talking about unconsciousness.)
2. It is not being hit in the dick, but being hit in the balls, that causes intense pain. It would be very difficult for someone to hit him in the balls in the actions you describe.
3. Is Lacey a midget? She is "ducking" so low that her head is at a level with her brother's groin? A 12-year-old girl is, on average, only 5" shorter than a 14-year-old boy, so it's not like she only comes up to his navel or something. The ducking motion required for her head to end up there would be an extremely unnatural reaction to trying to avoid a punch.
I wasn't going to elaborate on my statement, but... you asked.
Eric Storm
Offline
Thank you for the information.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Cool story - I'll look forward to more.
(posted from In the Begining)
Offline
agreed, good start, eagerly awaiting more : )
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
pretty interesting story, but there was one thing I found weird. In the chemistry lab, they were just told to mix everything up to see what happens. I don't know if it might be different in your school, but in my school we were always told to take extreme caution when mixing chemicals, it was always controlled, and I don't think they would let them mix everything up if there was a chance of any of the chemicals reacting and causing an explosion. but I guess what they mixed up was some new chemical that no one even knew about, and they thought it was all safe, so I guess that's possible though still a bit off. but anyway, it was a pretty interesting story, and I look forward to reading the next chapter. Oh and btw, about the point eric brought up about the accident, maybe you could say it was a knee or maybe she tripped and was sent flying or something.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Thank you for the feedback, I adjusted the story to say she simply struck him instead of her head striking him.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Sounds good, I'm interested on where this story is heading none the less.
(posted from In the Begining)
Offline
Nice beginning, keep it up.
(posted from In the Begining)
Offline
It was a great story. You should finish it I see where you could go with it. great job!!!
(posted from In the Begining)
Offline
Chapter two is with the editor now.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
Good start keep going hope you don't keep me waiting too long till your next part.
(posted from Chapter 2: First Taste)
Offline
I must have more! lol I really like where you are headed with this...I can't wait to dive into the science behind this connection he has with his sister. I would also hope the other two women in his life somehow get involved. That would be awesome! please keep it up!
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
did a minor re-write on chapter two. Mainly cosmetic things to make the story flow better.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
i don't know if its cause i'm using the mobile version or if its a glitch with the upload but paragraphs would be nice instead of everything running together. Otherwise its a interesting read so far and can't wait for more.
Offline
It was, and it wasn't, dentore1. It was a mix of things that I had not accounted for when I wrote the mobile version. I have since fixed this problem. Thanks for pointing it out.
Eric Storm
Offline
good series so far. like where this is heading, keep up the good work.
(posted from Questions)
Offline
Am enjoying so far, please keep up the good work.
(posted from the Item Information Page)
Offline
I defiantly enjoy the story and am interested to see where you will take it. The only real downside i would see is the length of each chapter.
Offline