Bridget
Barmaid
Member since 2006-Sep-9
Posts: 887
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The Pfynnic Fox
Where do I go to join this religion?
Entry for PubTales Challenge #1.
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Please read The Mystic Wolf Pub Critiquing Guide.
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Hmmm.
112 views.
0 comments.
only 1 recommendation made.
If any of you readers are wondering why the authors on this site don't post as much as you'd like them to, LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
Eric Storm
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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Black Rose
Evil Bar Wench
Member since 2006-Nov-27
Posts: 164
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I would have sworn someone commented on this, but I guess that was in chat. See what you get for appearing there? I am one of those 112 people... Tsk. Bad me.
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Black Rose
"Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins." – Neil Gaiman
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Terminaxe
Tipsy
Member since 2008-May-9
Posts: 9
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very nice. sensual and discreet. I would like to read more on your thoughts and background of this religion.
(posted from Chapter 1)
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Glad you enjoyed the story, Terminaxe. I think if I started another story at this point, though, somebody would lynch me. 
Eric
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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AvidReader
Inebriated
Member since 2008-Oct-30
Posts: 10
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Good story and interesting concept. Can't wait to read more!
(posted from Chapter 1)
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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More? Of this tripe? Granted, I want to join this religion, but... really.
Eric
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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SteelRage
Inebriated
Member since 2006-Dec-8
Posts: 18
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as a short story it was "Definitely worth my time," but as the beginning of more, even a series of shorts, then it is a definite "Must Read!" 
(posted from Chapter 1)
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SteelRage
....wow, this is the best I can come up with
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Okay, enough guys.... where the hell would you take this story? I honestly have no idea where this would go. If you want it to have any hope of ever having a continuance, you're going to have to tell me what you see in it. I wrote it to fit the quote. The characters have no history, and not much in the way of future... So...
Eric
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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mjsinjapan
Inebriated
Member since 2009-Jul-1
Posts: 16
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Mmmmm. Quite a fun story, great short, thanks for writing.
(posted from Chapter 1)
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Old Salt
Tipsy
Member since 2018-May-26
Posts: 5
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Enjoyed reading this story. Only thing throwing it off, is how, this 16 yr old obtained his skills in pleasuring females, yet was presented as a young male unsure of what was being required of him from the beginning.
(posted from Chapter 1)
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Glad you enjoyed the story. As to your issue, two things:
1. Natural talent - some people are just naturally good at sex.
2. Did you REALLY want to read a story about some virgin fumbling about with a whole bunch of girls?
[EDIT:] After I went back to refresh my memory concerning this story (it's been a while since I read it last), I can add this comment to my list above: I never intimated that the guy in question was a virgin, or even close to it. I merely made it clear he had no understanding of the ceremony he was participating in... and that he wasn't used to looking at naked girls right in front of him. He could have achieved the demonstrated skill by simply having one long-term girlfriend previously... along with a bit of talent in this area, as previously mentioned.
Eric Storm
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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neolyn
Wasted
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 101
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Eric Storm wrote:2. Did you REALLY want to read a story about some virgin fumbling about with a whole bunch of girls?
Eric Storm
That could be an interesting story. A young virgin learning bit by bit how to be good at sex or at relationships, learning from trials and errors.
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Perhaps, but NOT for a short story.
Eric Storm
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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neolyn
Wasted
Member since 2016-Feb-13
Posts: 101
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That would be very very bad indeed for a short story.
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HendrixMorton
Inebriated
Member since 2017-Aug-4
Posts: 30
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A great short story....and an interesting religion indeed...
As a follow up, wonder what it would be like from the male initiation....
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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There's a sequel I might consider writing...
Eric Storm
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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islandman79#
Inebriated
Member since 2015-Jan-1
Posts: 42
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Eric when’s next release ?
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Eric Storm
Pub Owner
Member since 2006-Sep-13
Posts: 5971
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Um... this is a short story. It doesn't HAVE a "next release".
Eric Storm
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Please Remember: The right to Freedom of Speech does not carry the proviso, "As long as it doesn't upset anyone." The US Constitution does not grant you the right to not be offended. If you don't like what someone's saying... IGNORE THEM.
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