The Pub Discussion Board

Dadrepus wrote:

Ok, this chapter confused me a bit. Crisis at the U.S. puts Chris as President and U.N. puts Orlando temporarily in charge of Russia. For how long? How is he then going to go on tour with Grace and the others and still manage Russia? Why no more details for the search for Kyrsten and crew. Seems like all these happenings could have been greatly expanded,  before the tangent of musical tour and house buying from Bob and crew. JFC, the President is missing, why isn't Bob and crew coming up with ways to help search? You really could have expanded on this mystery. Sometimes snippets aren't enough.

(posted from Chapter 92 - President, Seriously?)

I get your point and I did write some on the search for Kyrsten, but it was boring. Honestly the whole "Chris is President" got a little old. It will wrap up.

As for Orlando being in Russia, that is just until the replace him, so quite short.

It all comes together. Sometimes I don't go into enough depth. You'll actually see that as the story unfolds. I move away from too many snippets in a chapter to much more fleshed out stories in a chapter or across chapters.

My first story. I'm still learning

So, I’ve read all of 200 chapters and for the most part I enjoyed it. Being as old as I am, I’m not so comfortable with man on man sex but I get what you are trying to portray. It is my problem, not your’s.

If I have any real criticism it is the perpetuation of the myth that all Black men have big penises. In fact the research has proven that there is no appreciable difference on average and it shows a weakness in the writings that you keep going back to that stereotype.

Also, and I know this is fiction but the concept of clean up that you have made intrinsic to the sex is a bit dangerous if real life people try this as well. Especially after anal sex. One sees this in many porn sites but what  many might not know Fleet enemas are typically used ahead of any filming to assure a clean hole to put an unwrapped penis in. Otherwise  bacteria might infect his whole urinary tract also one should never go from rectum to vagina no matter how clean you think that asshole may be for the same reason. And cleaning up a penis with feces all over it with your mouth or tongue may be the worst idea ever, for the same reason.

I do like the character developments, personal interaction, and humor you throw in there. Levity is always appreciated. I like the cast of characters with many names having the links to help us remember where we first read about them. I like how you have incorporated real businesses (sexy clothing line for example) weaving them into the story. And yes I do look things up when you dare us. Fun!

I like how you use snippets to tell little stories and sometimes don’t finish them until a much later date…..ancient ruins….lizard people..
Pretty nicely put together in a seemingly random way that really isn’t.

I hope you continue to write and improve the story going forward.

(posted from Chapter 200 - The World)

Always looking for feedback, so feel free to post here or write me privately.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

abaddon.pale wrote:

Started reading this today.   I've read the first two chapters. 
and I have enjoyed the story so far.

While i'm not super into the beta-male role of the MC.  the story is good enough to keep my attention.  and I really enjoyed the +Parents cruse.

I do wonder what marina they could be in LOL, as a boat owner myself,  seems really hard to find privacy on deck LOL.

Seriously though good story so far, ill read more tomorrow.

(posted from the Item Information Page)

Glad you're liking the story. I get your point, but Bob's role is the foundation of the story. He comes into his own. Enjoy!

donkeyside6543 wrote:

You could have come up with a better solution than live animals.

Such as?  You apparently didn't manage to come up with one, since you didn't offer a suggestion...

Eric Storm